  A funny thing occured to me last week in the midst of yet another discussion regarding the marriage debate. Most of the people around me are straight, and they're totally "with us" on the marriage thing. The ones I've talked to are all for letting anyone marry any other adult and have that union recognized by the state. I, however, in spite of my usual state as the lone gay man in the room, was one of the few in the room to be against state recognition of gay marriage. "But dude, if they're going to recognize one kind, they should recognize the other. It's an issue of equality.
" Yeah, but I don't want marriage. For me or straight people. Well.... That's too strong. I'm all for marriage. I just don't think it's any of the government's business. We can all get married, regardless of our sexuality or who (or even how many!
) is in the relationship. Hell, I could have a ceremony and marry my housemates' dogs if I felt like it. I don't, but I could have a ceremony and vows and rings and live happily ever after with anyone or anything I want, even myself. Marriage is an issue of commitment. To those married folks in the audience, how many of you think your marriage, your commitment to your partner, would crumble if the state said, "You know what, we have no business here. Your marriage certificate, well... that's a bunch of bullshit.
" How many of you would walk right out on each other if the state no longer played a role in your relationship? There's probably only one or two relationships that would end if there were no lawyer fees in the way. Married folks don't stay married because the state sanctions their marriage. They do so out of love. And should they come to a point where they no longer love each other, the state will let them out of it anyway, if you pay a bunch of lawyer's fees. Commitments don't require state recognition.
They merely require the commitment of all involved. You can find examples in any city of gay couples who have been together for decades without a certificate from their state. Likewise, there are millions of "straight" folks who shack up for years without getting married. The other snivel in the marriage debate is that there are so many contractual issues involved in marriage. The argument is that if us queers get our marriages recognized, we'll finally be able to have our partners as our heirs, they'll be allowed to make our medical decisions if we become vegetables, they'll be able to make the final decisions when we die. There's nothing stopping anyone from drawing up those type of contractual agreements individually.
What about the money to pay the lawyer? We live in the information age. If you're that poor, go to the library and find out how to do it yourself. The contractual argument in regard to the marriage debate is simply an argument for laziness. "We want the government to be our one stop shop! " Fooey, I say!
What about taxes? Well, as a good, married, friend of mine told me once, "They don't call it the 'marriage penalty' for nothing. " The only equal recognition (aka "equal protection") we should be pushing for is the recognition that the state has no business whatsoever in our personal lives. Why do we get chills down our spine at the thought of POWs held in dog kennels in Cuba, John Ashcroft making a dossier on every single one of us, military tribunals, the "War on Terror TM," etc, etc, but we think nothing of registering with the state whenever we want to take our relationships to a certain level? Are we in the Soviet fucking Union? No.
We're in the United fucking States of fucking America and we're supposed to be able to do whatever the fuck we want whenever we want to fucking do it! (Including using the word "fuck. ") The government has no business in our bedrooms. They even finally admitted it. So when do we kick them out of the rest of the house? Well, now that we're done with tonight's Libertarian Party convention, let's get on to the real reason I'm against this shit.
I believe every word I said above, but there is a bigger reason I don't think we should be having the marriage debate right now. We have bigger things to worry about right now. TO ALL THE WELL-MEANING LIBERAL "STRAIGHT" AMERICANS OUT THERE ARGUING FOR "MY" RIGHT TO HAVE "MY KIND" OF MARRIAGE RECOGNIZED: YOU ARE BEING SWINDLED BY THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION. Haven't you stopped and asked yourself why we are suddenly having this debate? It came out of nowhere, didn't it? IT'S A SMOKESCREEN STARTED BY GEORGE W BUSH.
He didn't start the debate, but he fanned its flames (ok, bad metaphor, but deal with it) by stating that he supports a federal constitutional amendment banning queer marriage. He blew the debate out of proportion. This was not unintentional. While you're busy debating whether I should be "allowed" to get married, George W Bush & Company are allowed to continue pillaging the world on behalf of their corporate friends and themselves. While you're busy paying so much attention to the Supreme Court, the Executive Branch is executing some of the sickest foreign policy ever devised in our nation. While you're busy cheering on that gay coworker at the end of your row of cubicles, George W Bush is destroying our country.
I appreciate the thought, guys, but your thoughts would serve us all better if directed elsewhere. In case you forgot, here's some of the things you should be worrying about: -We, the bringers of freedom to the Middle East, are shutting down legitimate press outlets in Iraq for what amounts to sedition. -We are supporting rebels who wish to overthrow the democratically elected government of Venezuela (using Nixon and Kissinger's tactics of dealing with Chile in the 70s) in hopes of replacing their leftist leader with one more sympathetic to Bush's Reaganist politics. -We are sending billions of dollars in military aid each year to the country of Israel so they can continue their campaign of genocide against the Palestinians. -We are continuing to hold POWs in dog kennels in Cuba. They still have no legal counsel, no contacts with foreign diplomats or embassies, and their legal status as POWs has been denied by our government.
-We are busily setting up a stranglehold in the former Soviet republics, most of which are still living under brutal totalitarianism. Our military and our oil companies now have a presence in every former Soviet republic. To say the least, Russia is not happy about NATO's expansion into Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania as they are not part of the Conventional Forces in Europe treaty, which essentially means that NATO can now place an unlimited number of forces in those countries right along the Russian border. This is the sort of thing the US would never stand for if the roles were reversed. -We have destroyed the most stable governments in the Middle East and Central Asia only to create absolute anarchy in their place. Iraq is now a cesspool of blood.
Can you justify an unjustifiable war when you have to watch 18 year old boys being brutalized on television? WE ARE ALLOWING GEORGE W BUSH AND DICK CHENEY TO SEND 18 YEAR OLDS TO THEIR CERTAIN DEATH TO SUPPORT THEIR "RE"-ELECTION CAMPAIGN! -Our corporate media killed the campaign of the best hope our country has had for a political renaissance. Hopefully, the Doctor will be back in at a later date. -We have a sitting "president" that was not the winner of our last election. He does not deserve his job.
We didn't choose him. The guy we did choose didn't even have the balls to stand up and take his rightful job. And what's to stop the Bush/Cheney monolith from doing it again? Not a goddamn thing, obviously. Hell, in most countries, there wouldn't be a question of again. In any other country, he'd be dead in the street or living in a prison right now.
-President Clinton was impeached for a crime that is much less serious than any of the multitude of crimes "President" Bush has committed. Even President Nixon was impeached and forced to resign for less. -We are not educating our young. -We are not taking care of our elderly. -We are not building a world we will be proud to hand to our posterity. -We are killing the planet and enslaving her people.
There's a lot more, but in the above list, you should be able to find at least one thing that you find more important than the marriage issue. Don't let Bush keep smokescreening you! Marriage is not what's important now. We can already get married. Again, I appreciate the thought, but think about something else already. 
