  For some reason, I dont feel right. Something is wrong and I'm feeling shitty. I had Bill punch me yesterday so that I would bruise...but there is no bruise. I don't bruise easily, and I guess that's why I strive to have a bruise somewhere on my body. You see..bruises to me, are probably the most beautiful thing. I know that sounds dumb..and everyone is like "bruises are ugly"...but they are so beautiful to me. The scars on my arms comfort me. Every time that I look at my arm, I see my scars and they too are very beautiful. Nothing on my body is as beautiful as my scars. I just looked at myself in the mirror...and I almost want to cry. It seems that every time I look in the mirror I'm looking face to face with my enemy. I know that sounds weird it's just that...I can't stand living with who I am.
Yeah, like...I have people, like Bill and Ashley for example but neither of them understand how truly bad I feel for letting them become involved with me. I am lucky to have the two of them in my life. Inside my head I hear screaming Someone's screaming at me, I wonder if I'm dreaming but I blink and find myself lonely The yelling continues and I cry tears falling fast I try and comfort myself with a lie only the lie doesnt last I search for help but the voice doesnt fade When will it leave?
I stand still trying to fight, to be brave but inside I just want to bleed I try to find this voice that I hate so I walk into another place I go into the bathroom and look straight Staring at my enemy...face to face. I just wrote that....umm, but I have to go now. I....can't really write anymore, I'm just in one of 'those' moods where silence seems conforting. 
