  I'm standing in my kitchen looking at my dad and my uncle, Donald. Both are within about 7 years of each other. They're standing there talking, and as I study them I see that they both have this disgusting I-look-like-I'm-40lbs-heavier-than-I-really-am, distended, acid reflux bellies. They both look like they're hiding dutch ovens in their shirts. They're both in relatively good shape for their ages, but it doesn't show.
Shirtless, they look like gorillas. You could lay them on their backs and they could hold a cup of loose water in the concave space between their chests and stomachs (xiphioid, I am told, is what it's called)... I don't want to end up looking like that. Theres a crying baby upstairs... it's annoying. 
