  1. ) Damn, what a beautifil day it is today. The sun is out, the air is cool, there's a slight breeze, the humidity is low. I'm stuck here at the bookstore looking out the window wishing I could take a drive down Smithbridge to Brandywine Creek State Park for a nice 10 mi hike (it would be 5 miles, but I always get lost); just me, the trees, and the water. I've been thinking about starting to work out again, but I don't feel like going to the Y alond (and my brother is outta town) so if any of you sacks of crap feel up to it let me know, I'd be glad to have some company at the gym. Hopefully I should be getting a car tonight [update: that didn't happen], so I'll probably be able to go out trail running and playing disc golf again.
I'll need a co-pilot to help me get to Lums Pond. --- 2. ) C. S. Lewis' urlLink The Screwtape Letters is brilliant so far-- amazingly clever and poignant. I picked it up at work the other day. I wish my writing was that clever. Amazon.com Who among us has never wondered if there might not really be a tempter sitting on our shoulders or dogging our steps?
C.S. Lewis dispels all doubts. In The Screwtape Letters , one of his bestselling works, we are made privy to the instructional correspondence between a senior demon, Screwtape, and his wannabe diabolical nephew Wormwood. As mentor, Screwtape coaches Wormwood in the finer points, tempting his "patient" away from God. Each letter is a masterpiece of reverse theology, giving the reader an inside look at the thinking and means of temptation. Tempters, according to Lewis, have two motives: the first is fear of punishment, the second a hunger to consume or dominate other beings.
On the other hand, the goal of the Creator is to woo us unto himself or to transform us through his love from "tools into servants and servants into sons. " It is the dichotomy between being consumed and subsumed completely into another's identity or being liberated to be utterly ourselves that Lewis explores with his razor-sharp insight and wit. The most brilliant feature of The Screwtape Letters may be likening hell to a bureaucracy in which "everyone is perpetually concerned about his own dignity and advancement, where everyone has a grievance, and where everyone lives the deadly serious passions of envy, self-importance, and resentment. " We all understand bureaucracies, be it the Department of Motor Vehicles, the IRS, or one of our own making. So we each understand the temptations that slowly lure us into hell. If you've never read Lewis, The Screwtape Letters is a great place to start.
And if you know Lewis, but haven't read this, you've missed one of his core writings. --Patricia Klein ---- 3. ) It pisses me off how most of the sentences on/in this blog start with "I. " Granted, it is a journal, but still, I should know better than that. ---- 4. ) It's finally hitting me that I'm going to be graduating high school in about 10 months.
By this time next year I should be getting ready to go to college. and starting my mediocre adult life. Last week I was in Mrs. McGrority's 4th grade class at St. Thomas, where she abused and belittled all of us in front of our peers. Two days ago I was standing front and center in Mr. Stevenson's GVMS English class, giving a speech on the life of my then-hero, the great Allen Collins of Lynyrd Skynyrd, nervously flipping through my index cards, sweat beading on my brow and my voice cracking and wavering, not caring that I was skipping cards and not making any sense-- It was too terrifying to care. Joe's speech on Ghengis Kahn was great. Yesterday.
Yesterday was the beginning of 9th grade. I had just lost my best friend, Samantha. I had never had a better, cooler friend. She was closer to me that anyone had been before. She'd always acted like a girlfriend to me. She was flirty, physically affectionate, fun, and beautiful (at least to me.
that's all that mattered). I fell for her, like an idiot, but the feeling was far from mutual. Though her actions spoke differently, she said she didn't want me as anything other than a friend; I didn't like that answer. It hit me hard-- I was beyond crushed. She led me on and I was willing to let that slide. Thanks to my inexcusable actions the friendship ended.
I acted like a total pussy-- incredibly immature. I just couldn't handle it and I fucked everything up. She tried to be cool about it, but I fucked it up and it didn't work. I grew up a lot. I changed a lot. I never did apologize, and though it was really a long time ago, and we were young, dumb, and inexperienced, I still feel like a jerk for what happened.
That was all long ago. Why should it matter now, it was stupid kid shit?... I don't know, but it does. That shit mattered to me. I don't remember growing up, but it happened. I'm practically eightteen now.
I'm supposed to be deciding on what college I want to go to now, but aside from that I've grown up being treated like a kid. Now it finally hits like a shovel of horse shit to the face. I am deciding what I want to do with the rest of my life. I've given a lot of thought to it, but it doesn't matter because my plans and interests change drastically every six months or so. When I first started giving it thought I wanted to be a shop teacher. I planned on going to Williamson Trade School and becoming a master carpenter/cabinet maker/metal smith/welder.
This was right around the time that I found out I was bipolar with ADHD. I got medicated and actually developed a sense of motivation. Now I wanted to do someting outside, but I wasn't sure what. I looked into environmental science and forrestry. Up until recently I wanted to live the rest of my life as a park ranger/survival instructor (Sedona, Yellowstone, Glacier... anywhere out west). I set my sights on Pennsylvania School of Technology in Williamsport (what a joke.
Fuck Associates Degrees.). There were a few moments when I wanted to join the Navy, just because I love to travel... Then I started actually trying in school... just a little bit... That's when I realized I really love learning, and I'm damn good at it. I wanted to be something , not just some stupid park ranger. I have ambition now. I still want to major in a natural science or engineering (I'd like to get my Ph. D. in a science), but I'm not sure what I want my other major to be (I do want to double major).
I'm thinking English, Communications (I'd be great in broadcast), Anthropology, or anything that could work well with my science degree (like a language). The main thing is that I want to travel to other countries for long periods of time. Where do I want to go? I have no clue. I'm thining Penn State or Iowa State. If you have any recommendations let me know.
----- 5. ) How come dogs never need braces? Their teeth always come in perfectly straight. When was the last time you saw a dog with crooked teeth? ---- 6. ) The Ridley Creek State Parke photo contest is comming up.
I'm planning on winning that (in every arena if possible. I think it's possible). ---------- 7. ) My hands smell like fish (I had tuna and then Kipper Snacks) ---- 8. ) When my posts get long I start jumping around and lose track of shit... then everything starts sounding funny/stupid. NP: Umphrey's McGee - Local Band Does OK (specifically- Nothing Too Fancy ) 
