  I really really shouldn't be on my computer right now, let alone writting on this little journal thing. Tomorrow at 7:55 in the AM I take my pre-calc final. I'm almost done studying... I've only got one and a half chapters left to review, wich is pretty good considering it's only 8:13 and I would normally just be starting my homework about now... or in a few hours. I still have to do my actual homework for all those other passe classes I take, but that's not at my list of priorities right now, I need to get a good grade on the final to get and A in the class. last semester i had an 87 this semester I have a 95 and the final is 20% of my grade, which means i should be studying...like... right now.
*shrugs* i'll call this my study break. Coming home on the bus was interesting today. I never really come home right after school so it was a little strange riding the bus around by myself at 2:30 in the afternoon. It was a very pensive ride. I've been very pensive in general lately, casue and effect senarios, and a tad bit of history. I'm not really sure if that's making sense, so I'll clarify a little bit while still remaining annoyingly ellusive and uncomprehensible.
I was really depressed at a certain time, I was also having problems in school, i was hearing certain rumors. I acted on a whim to quiet the rumors and to fill the viod of depression. thus leading to the "one really stupid thing a year" (it's a theory of mine, i'll explain later perhaps). Well, it cured the rumors, i was... normal by others standards, plainly put, no longer given the sideways glances and uncomforting questions, but i knew it was all a lie, which depressed me more.
so I woke up one morning and said "what the hell am I doing? " I don't know if that really clarifies and more. I was just figuring things out on the bus, it explained a lot about my life in the past three or four years.
Almost like fate now that I think of it.... strange. Anyway, the bus, I was looking out the wondos at one point or another, I was somewhere near the civic center, and there was a man dressed in bright yellow (at first i wished casey was around so i could punch her, because all things yellow get punches, along with "special" cars. the punch buggy game...expanded) but then i noticed he was leaning face against a fence, two cops beating the hell out of him with their black pole things, batons? police cruelty, the man was already in handcuffs, he wasn't trying to run away, i just don't understand some things in this world.
I'm not trying to defend the guy, i'm sure he did something to desserve the arrest, but violence? do we really need more violence? I asked myself that as two teachers guided a class of small children across the street to avoid the sceen. I then went to stike up a nice conversation with the person sitting next to me about violence in our society.
I love meeting new people on busses, they've always got interesting views, well, not always, but it's worth the gamble. I am still multicoloured, casey made a big deal about it today, she dragged me over to all sorts of people and said "look at my art" then proceeded to lift my shirt up. i felt like a flasher all day long. it was comical in it's own way. Lisa, Frankie, and I tried to get Casey back after school, all that happened was us getting yelled at by Mr. Moy because we were causing havoc in the hallway and myself gaining new bite marks and unnessisary loss of skin due to sharp fingernails. WE WILL GET YOU BACK!!!! Mr. Murphy loved his pie, he ate it with us at lunch, it actually turned out really good, although it it was cold it would have been a whole lot better.
Today was the last day that I'm going to be able to sit at my pole in the courtyard and eat lunch with lisa (emo tear) today was the last day of senoir classes. Mr. Murphy suggested we tag our names on the pole just to claim it, I'm thinking of licking it since that's my claiming method. perhaps tomorrow it will really become MINE MINE MINE. alright, i've procrastinated my studying enough and I just realized that I've had Holland 1945 on repeat for the past half hour. I put commenting back on here, i accidentaly deleated it a week or so ago, but now it's back. whoopie! 
