  Um... i was using my old computer earlier today, now that I think about it I'm not quite sure why I was using it since it's missing a keyboard and all. But I found all these wonderful Hitch hickers Guide to the Galexy quotes, so.... they are as follows... (if you haven't read these books yet you must....must must must, they are hilarious and beautiful all wrapped up in one, although there are actually 5 books... but ONE!!! ) "ladies and gentelmen" he said, "the Universe as we know it has been in existance for over one hundred and seventy thousand million billions years and will be ending in a little over half an hour.
So, welcome one and all to Milliways, the Restaurant and the End of the Universe! " Though his throat was sore again from his early morning yell of horror, he was suddenly in a terrifically good mood. "The point is, you see," said Ford, "that there is no point in driving yourself mad trying to stop yourself going mad. You might just as well give in and save your sanity for later. " These mice, you see, they are not quite as they appear. they are merly the protrusion into our dimension of vastly hyperintelligent pandimensional beings. The whole business with cheese and the sqeaking is just a front. They've been expiirementing on you, i'm afraid.
"The dew," he observed, "has clearly fallen with a particularly sickening thud this morning. " now, either you give yourselves up now and let us beat you up a bit, though not very much of course because we are firmly opposed to needless violence, or we blow up this entire planet and possible one or two others we noticed on our way out here! He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.
"The Guide says there is an art to flying," said Ford, "or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. " He smiled weakly. He pointed at the knees of his trousers and held his arms up to show the elbows. They were all torn and worn through. "I may," he added with a grin which would have sent sane men scampering into trees, "have been imagining it.
" Pardon me for breathing, which I never do anyway so i don't know why I bother to say it, oh God, I'm so depressed "My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre," he muttered to himself, "and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes. " It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet earth, man has always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much more-the wheel, New York, wars and so on- while all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time.
But conversely the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent that man- for presisely the same reasons. Very few things actually get manufactured these days, because in an infinitely large Universe such as, for instance, the one in which we live, most things one could possibly imagine, and a lot of things one would rather not, grow somewhere.
A forest was discovered recently in which most of the trees grew ratchet screwdrivers as fruit. The life cycle of ratchet screwdriver fruit it quite interesting. Once picked it needs a dark dusty drawer in which it can lie undisturbed for years. Then one night it suddenly hatches, discards its outer skin which crumbles into dust, and emerges as a totally unidentifiable little metal object with flanges at both ends and a sort of ridge and a sort of hole for a screw. This, when found, will get thrown away. No one knows what it is supposed to gain from this. Nature, in her infinite wisdom, is presumably working on it.
the girl he had dragged along to the pub with him had grown to loathe him dearly over the last hour,and it would pobably have been a great satisfaction to her to know that in a minute and a half or so he would suddenly evaporate into a whiff of hydrogen, ozone and carbon monoxide. However, when the moment came she would be too busy evaporating herself to notice. Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now. 
