  so how is everyone.  i'm pretty good.  'cept that sting in my heart &  the thoughts going through my mind,  i try not to think about it &  everything. and it really doesnt feel different,  but its starting to set in,  i'm not even sure what it is -  well i do -  but i dont :  ehhhhh.  :  ive pretty much just felt numb all day,
 not knowing what to do,  what to think,  how to act.  its so weird,  its like i dont remember how to : '(  i guess its just not the same without you :  yet ur still here.  so thats why it makes it hard &  confusing aiyiyiyiyiy i just wanna be your girl.  i give you my all,  my heart,  my love,  my smile,  my laughter,
 my mind,
 my everything.  what else can i do : '(  i just wanna be with you -
 i gotta give maddddddddd props to my krispy kream.  shes the best.  i mean thank god i was with her last night or i duno wat id do - a nd thanks mommy strah -  for locking us out -  it got my mind off what was happening for a lil while -  that helped -  but im just so happy i was with her last night -  bc when the tears jsut started crying,  i was so happy i wasnt alone.  even tho it hasnt really hit me,  i havent really CRIED.  a few lil tears here &
 there.  but like i duno.  it hasnt sunk in. i am just numb.  i have more to write -  b ut i duno wat -  i can barely think straight im talkin to linds right now -  " i just dont get why bad things happen to the best people"  i love her so much : D benjimannnnnn haha so im gonna go talk to her -  hopefully kris wil lcall me soon &  let me know wats goin down 2nite &  yahhh -  i might write later if i feel up to it but im gonna go drink the night away bye byee 
