  Ah dear. Another day, another donut. No blog yesterday due to terminal lethargy and the time lost to thinking up new 'urban teaching' concepts via Yahoo messaging.
If by any chance you are thinking of getting this, on no account should you. It is the invention of the Devil, or, if not Beelzebub himself, then one of his under-demons. Perhaps it was Fred, the Balrog of Timewaste. Whatever, it eats up you life, so Just Say No. My sudden tsunami of Up and At Em-ness seems to have been beaten down by a decent-sized sea-wall of exhaustion. I am a living disproof of circadian rhythm theory. This being the third day of my school cycle, I should be bright eyed, bushy tailed and raring to go. Instead I am feeling more akin to an extra from Dawn of the Dead. Not even a good one. Just one of the filler zombies with the grey make-up and no facial prosthetics. The thing is, I haven't even done anything yet. Being in a new school can be an alienating experience.
It's a daily grind of being on your best behaviour and always, always saying the right thing. On average, it takes maybe two hours to spot your establishment's major malfunction, and identify at least a couple of the following Interesting Topics of Conversation: 1) The teacher with bad personal hygiene. 2) The student with bad personal hygiene. 3) The teacher who is in charge of something crap in a really enthusiastic way and is therefore loathed by all and sundry. 4) The kid who, very unfortunately, has no friends and prefers the company of adults, ie.
you.
5) The place where the kids go to smoke and hide while bunking off. 6) What pisses everyone off about the Head.
Unfortunately, you are unable to broach these goldmines of gossip because you must first spend at least a month compiling evidence, observing friendship groups, researching behaviour patterns and above all reinforcing your own Safe Guy credentials. Then, and only then can you dare to cross the line into controversialdom. A wrong word in the shell-like of the wrong teacher, you see, can result in that staff room being a very uncomfortable place for you over the remainder of your placement.
Oh yes. Every seat will suddenly be occupied, every coffee mug the sole and unborrowable property of Dave from IT. Best bring you own sandwiches, too, cos the Food Tech. ladies are in league with the folks at the canteen, and those mid-day supervisors are vicious . There's no room for error here, people. It's a tightrope. Better watch your step... 
