  I'm here.  & nbsp;  & nbsp; nbsp;
nbsp; nbsp;  Uninspired,  unmotivated,  but here. nbsp;
 It has been a busy couple of weeks at work and my internet time has been minimal,  but the real story is that I'm just being damn sluggish. nbsp;  Looking back at the enthusiasm of my previous& nbsp; post,
 I feel a little embarrassed. nbsp;  & nbsp;  So what's going on?  &
nbsp;  & nbsp;  & nbsp; nbsp;
nbsp; nbsp;  I think I'm afraid. nbsp;  I still think about running all the time,  and any time I pass someone running when I'm driving I am like some rubber-
necking voyeur,  trying to watch them as long as I can in the rearview -  having flights of imagination that it's me,  or glimmers of hope that it eventually will be. nbsp;  The thing is,
 even though the Dr.  cleared me for running again,  I still haven't because I'm still having pain. nbsp;  Not alot,  not hardly any -
 mostly soreness to lesser and greater degrees,  particularly in the morning,  strangely. nbsp;  But enough to make me way more skittish than& nbsp;
I would have imagined. nbsp;  It's not& nbsp; related to weight bearing,  it's related to range-
of- motion,  and so some stupid movement will& nbsp; remind& nbsp;
me that I'm not healed and leave me completely discouraged despite a day that was otherwise pretty comfortable. nbsp; nbsp;  & nbsp;  &
nbsp; nbsp; nbsp; nbsp;  So I'm nervous -  I sit and wonder if the pain will ever completely go away.
nbsp;  Common sense says it will but it's been long enough that it's hard to imagine not having it. nbsp;  Eight weeks feels like a long time,  and maybe it's really not in the scope of healing from an injury,  maybe I'm just impatient.
nbsp;  But even though the doc gave me the ok to run -  my gut is telling me that I shouldn't. nbsp;  I am so scared of going out there and re- injuring myself in any way and being sidelined again.
 & nbsp;  So how's the crosstraining going?  & nbsp;  &
nbsp; nbsp; nbsp; nbsp;  Yeah,  well.
um.  & nbsp;  Some cheese with that whine.  & nbsp;
 & nbsp; nbsp; nbsp; nbsp;  The real story is that I am being lazy.
nbsp;  I know I'm not ready to run just yet but there's a hundred other things I could do and I am really just dragging my feet. nbsp;  I keep waiting for magical inspiration to come like a lightning bolt when I know that what it's always been about is just going ahead and doing it -  making the time,  making the effort,
 making the committment. nbsp;  I'm just having such difficulty getting back there.  & nbsp;  &
nbsp; nbsp; nbsp; nbsp;  So anyway,  thanks for missing me :
nbsp;  Thanks for the prompt,  urlLink Jon & nbsp; nbsp;  I have been remiss in keeping up on RBF blogs and that makes me more sluggish because&
nbsp; they are& nbsp; so motivational and& nbsp; encouraging to me.
nbsp;  I hope to be speaking the truth when I say I'm back!  & nbsp; nbsp;  &
nbsp; nbsp; nbsp; nbsp;  " Care is taken that trees do not grow into the sky.
nbsp; nbsp;  -  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe & nbsp;  &
nbsp;
