  Celebrating 10 posts of Jonah! (Hosted by Laurence Fishburne! ) AD= AD= AD= AD= ADs AD= AD= AD= AD= AD= AD= AD= ADs AD= AD= AD= AD= ^A line of live elephants, because any good celebration has live elephants. Laurence Fishburne: Hi, I'm Laurence Fishburne, and welcome to Jonah's Jovial, Jocular J-post Jubilee. I've been reading Jonah's posts since he began them a little less then a month ago, and they have had a profound influence on me. I spend so much time reading that blog, that I only did one take of each of the scenes in Matrix Revolutions. That's why it was so bad. Keanu Reeves: Also, I can't act! Laurence Fishburne: Anyway, that's why I decided to host this special.
And Now, a montage of the best moments of Jonah's fabulous posts. So I'm joining another blog. Don't expect to hear much from me./For whom are we writing this anyway? For each other, for ourselves, or for a theoretical audience?/ I just realized that I am really, really sexy. Like, I-wanna-rip-his-clothes-off-right-this-instant sexy. I am too sexy for my shirt, and for that matter my shoes, socks and pants. I'm so hot, I could melt number 7 plastic./Thomas: Maybe you're name scheme could be that all your entries are called Welcome to Fred. It'd be funny./I was kinda kidding, but whatever./Fighting makes me sad/The moral of this post: Don't volunteer to do two stories in one weekend if you also have a page to design and the paper gets sent to press Tuesday!/But we were winners anyway, because we drink milk.
In other news I'm wearing a birthday hat. Yay!/Huzzah! Doom Sporks for everyone! Laurence Fishburne: I guess Montages work better with something other than text! Next, Blog founder Marten Dollinger will say a few words. Marten: Nice work and stuff, I guess. Laurence Fishburne: And now, a musical presentation by fellow blogger Thomas, and his band The Fanny Pack Five. Thomas: (to the tune of a certian Weezer song. ) His name is Jonah, he writes really good posts!
He's not from Barcelona, but he makes a mean slice of toast! Come sit next to him, Pour yourself some Slim- Fast, like Granma made when you were on a diet Things were better then, you couldn't eat chicken, You gave up that trend when you didn't lose weight. This song is not going as planned, The lyrics suck and should be banned, The rhyming is bad when it exists at all, The resemblence to the original is small, The audience is standing up and leaving, The audience is standing up and leaving, The audience is standing up and gone, Yeah they're gone!
(Really cool guitar riffs. ) Laurence Fishburne: Well, now that the audience is gone, it's time for Jonah's brother Nathan to say a few words. (That didn't come out right. ) Nathan: Jonah's posts have been a true inspiration to me. A few weeks ago, I was planning to develop an addiction to cough syrup or toad licking, because I couldn't take this cruel world anymore. Then, I got on the blog and read those beautiful words, "Interesting fact about Christen Neary: Her older brother, Stephen Neary aka Parrot Boy, also drew the giant sandwhich which until recently adorned Levi's wall. " Suddenly, it made sense how wonderful this world is. I've been a staunch supporter ever since!
Laurence Fishburne: Thanks Nate! Now a poem from blogger Sophia. Sophia Thanks Laurence. This is a poem I wrote for Jonah. It's called Ode to Jonah. Jonah is cool, Jonah is neat. If he were a food group, he would be meat. Jonah is sexy, Jonah is cute. He melts number 7 plastic fruit. Jonah writes losts of nifty posts, and according to Thomas makes good toast.
Life without Jonah would be sad indeed, Like a yard all full of weeds. Laurence Fishburne: (crying) That was beautiful. Now a word from Jennifer Lopez. J-Lo: I don't know this Jonah guy, but I want to talk about what the letter J means to me. Without J, my name would be Ennifer Lopez. The shortening would be E-Lo, or possibly just Lo. Either way, I'm glad Jonah's decided to celebrate this letter. Laurence Fishburne: Now blog writer Erin will perform a freesyle rap. This doesn't sound good. Erin (dressed in baggy clothes and a backwards cap): Jonah is neat, he's a pretty swell guy, He's had 10 posts, that's more than nine. He knows Laurence Fishburne, and that's pretty rad, He draws people in like newspaper ad. This rap's pretty lousy, I won't say it's not, But hey, I made it up on the spot.
So way to go Jonah, for 6 posts plus 4, Here's to the rest, to 16 more! Word. Laurence Fishburne: Now, a word from Micheal Christie, who introduced Jonah to blogging. Micheal Christie: Jonah's posts are awful. Originally, he wrote decent posts but now they're all fluff, randomness and meaningless titles. Although, it's nothing compared to the new Matrix. Laurence Fishburne was especially... Laurence Fishburne: That's enough of that.
Our final writer, Lara, is in Seattle on a book tour, but she's with us via satellite. Lara, on staticy screen: Jonah bzzt crckle doom spork bzzz fizzle elephants zzt bzzizle 700 fizzz brzzle pop bzzz much. So, bzzz crckle fzzble a really good pie.
Thanks Laurence.
Laurence Fishburne: Well there you have it, bzzz crckle a really good pie. How better to describe Jonah then that. Until next time, I'm Laurence Fishburne, signing out. 
