  the pain builds inside me, wanting to break free. it wants to take the form of a knife... I want to spell out the grief in a way people might understand, might be able to help.
No one understands here, i feel so alone, i am going to go crazy here. These imitators, these actors, they lie to me constantly they demand i act as if nothing were wrong. They couldnt imagine the pain they've never been in my shoes they've never experienced a day in my life and yet they claim to understand exactly how i feel. HA ! Yeah sure of course they do yet when i show emotion they say not to they tell me to get over it, to cope well its a little late for that!
the pain is starting to dissipate anger, blind rage, toward these people who call themselves my parents, takes it's place. I have to get rid of this anger i have to let it out if i dont i will surely explode! I cant do this anymore to many things are piling up on top of one another fear, pain, stress, anger, rage, need... oh the need, the need for love, comfort, someone who will accept me for who i truly am not the mask, someone who needs me, a purpose, someone to listen, an outlet.
Everyone has there weakness this is mine, i need. i cant help it i have needs, most times i have learned to live without them, but sometimes they bubble back to the surface and i cant help it anymore. I need to be needed to be able to be there for someone! 
