  It's been a while since my last post. It's hard to type when my boss is here because he knows I am not working and he thinks I am e-mailing my friends.
Why would it bother someone if I was typing? It bothers me when his computer clicks. The monitor just clicks. My friend Natalie got us tickets to see Amel Larrieux in concert last night at the House of Blues. She sings with so much truth. Her voice is amazing. I cried when she sang Make me whole. She is such a beautiful and positive person. I have felt so good all day since that concert despite the fact that I am hung over and tired as hell.
I had a really good time. I've started going to the gym again too. It's finally nice outside. It's been sunny the last couple of days and it's beginning to really warm up. The may fest is this weekend. I'm going to go to that but I'm sure there will be no parking around my house for the next few days. I've had three dreams about Brad this week. I don't think they necessarily have anything persay to do with Brad, but the dreams messages have a lot to do with how I perceive things right now in my waking life. There are a lot of changes I need to make because I am definitely on the brink of depression. I find so many things to be happy about but as soon as I get around Tony I become mega bitch.
I just feel it with everything I have that he has been so wrong to me and done things that I will never know about. He is so secretive and on top of that he is a liar. I find that I can go out and have a great time now and not even miss him but in the back of my mind I worry about what he's doing.
Something has to change soon. If not with him then definitely with me. I've waited for things to get better for too long. Work has really been bothering me too. It's not so much the work I do or the people I am around, but that I feel like there is more to life than this. I feel like I should be experiencing all that I can right now while I still have the energy. I know most people at this point in there life are beginning their careers or finishing graduate school or something awesome like that but I don't want to work for someone else my whole life.
I want to do something extraordinary. I want to set my mark in this world and leave it with class and dignity. I want to be remembered for more than the girl who did the accounting for 40 years. I have this desire to be something and take control and live free.
I think I am the kind of person that hates to stay in one place too long. But the ironic thing is that for so long I have tried to create this stable life where the people around me are the same and my residence is the same address and my job is the same, etc....But I find that unless things change, all of these things and places become unhappy places to be. If I'm not growing and I'm learning anything, what am I doing? Nothing. Nothing at all. What's the point in that? Well, it's about that time. Over and out. 
