  It is 4:20 a.m. and am still waiting on sleep... Have been doing some thinking about my situation. Why does life have to be so preoccupied by the need for money? I have absolutely the most wonderful wife and kids who all love each other. I could not ask for more. I am just put aside by the fact that I as a Father am not a good provider. It seems that no matter what I try, or how hard I have tried, I have failed. I am so tired of watching my children accepting less in a world of more. While I don't believe they should always get what they want, they should be afforded some nice things. Having much pain now and I think that compounded by our shakey standing right now is not helping at all. I have to wonder if I did have the ability to provide a good life, would I still have a good family??? Later, it is time to lay down and watch the clock... 
