  Yet he was merciful; he forgave their iniquities and did not destroy them. Time after time he restrained his anger and did not stir up his full wrath.
He remembered that they were but flesh, a passing breeze that does not return. Psalm 78:38,39 God has never dealt with me as I deserve. He saved me 6 months after i had told him to get stuffed cos if he was real he didn't care. That was at the end of 20 years of flirting with God, never really committing myself to Him.
He has forgiven me for so many times doubting that He will hold me up when things are hard. He has forgiven me for a most evil act I have committed and instead of humiliation and hatred he gently brought the issue to light and brought me healing and forgiveness and another chance to serve him.
Sparing me and other people the full consequences of what I had done. What an awesome God. He does not destroy me when I believe the darkness that says that He does not love me - otherwise He would give me what I want when I want it - instead He continues to remind me - internally and through my friends and things that are happening around me, that He loves me and has given me all I need and even if I have nothing I have Him, and His love and His forgiveness and His acceptance and His provision and these - these are the only things I need. This week i have been trying to find the peace that comes from knowing that in God I have everything I need - not in the things he has given me, not in relationships, these are all good things I should enjoy and cherish and love but they are not not the source of contentment - only God is the source of contentment and I need to find peace in having Him - in Knowing Him - in being His child.
Life under construction... 
