  i asked spirit for guidance on this whole nick situation, i've been feeling the little inklings but not paying much mind.. i guess trying to contradict them?
but recurrently feeling like he always has so much going on, it's not going to change anytime soon (it can, but it's not), need to look at where this is headed and get out now before a year passes and we're not any further and i whine that it's too late to try to recover loss time and start anew with someone else.
and i know that's all feelings, and some of that is fear-driven from my mind, and i need to KNOW with my spirit. so i asked spirit last night for a little guidance here. and then this morning i asked nick about him coming to the door and me assuming it was an opening to a kiss and might have been wrong. he said "I dunno, I guess both, didn't really give it much thought, been so preoccupied with everything else going on right now, I just don't know what to think about anything anymore, I'm just trying to stop from going insane at this moment.
" GAH. that just about ripped me down to the core. ask and you'll get the answer. i asked nick, he told me straight up. i asked the spirit, he told me straight up. now it's a matter of acting on the knowledge i gained... that could prove to be harder. 
