  So I just got into a huge, stupid fight with Ethan... Sometimes I honestly don't know if I have it in me to do this relationship thing with me in Summerside and Ethan in Charlottetown. It's like 45 minutes away but... I'm not a trusting individual in a relationship. I don't know if I ever will be again. I was never a jealous or not trusting girlfriend until Chris...until I found out that I was the girlfriend in Charlottetown and there was another one in Halifax.
Ethan has never done anything to lead me to believe that he would ever cheat on me...my mind plays tricks with me though. Last night he was supposed to call. It's common that he forgets to call. He just gets caught up "hanging" at the house with the boys. I talked to him today and I wasn't upset about it until he tells me about going out last night. So I start with the "you could have called for like two minutes before you went out with the boys..." And my mind starts questioning things like..."he had no money when he was with me...how can he afford to go out with the boys? " We don't talk for a few days and I think I wonder what he's doing, or who he's with that he can't take a few minutes to call me...
This having the house to myself isn't all I thought it would be cracked up to be. Too much time on my hands...I'm so afraid my mind is going to get the best of me and I'm going to screw everything up with Ethan...I feel so pathetic...I wish I could get over this insecurity...$&%?$&$*$% 
