  to go or not to go?  to go for cheaper on sat 11th sept or not to?  to wait for my £ 500 bond to be back in my account before i buy or not?  oh well. maine probably awaits mid-
september for a few weeks.  nursing probably doesnt await mid- september.  due to financial issues regarding the lovely nhs grants dept.  so i have a year free,  to do something else.
 veering between feeling pretty good and excited about it and pretty damn pissed off that i can't just do what i'd decided.  do wish everything could be as simple and good as california girls by the beach boys.  so i have been unemployed since i got back,  went to sign on for first time today but should have been gettin dole since 15th at least and nothing yet.  but have a job for a week starting next monday,  as a receptionist out in fulbourne.
thats something,  even if it does take 50 minutes by bus to get there.  highlight since been here is goin into london a few fridays ago with ma to see the hopper exhibition at the tate.  so so good.  not much more to say than that,  i'll just put on of the pieces they had on here to show how good it was cos my words won't do really.
 was ill with virus thing for nearly two weeks from the last time wrote this,  was almost like a sleeping sickness.  as you can tell from the uninterestingness of this blog there is nothing that is not boring to tell.  of course i am loving pottering along,  reading telly garden town sun chatting don't want to work next week.  and don't miss cardiff at all.
 person i'm missing most is jenny and she's the one person who is not going to summers party this weekend.  fair- do's being in hospital with a kidney infection ( bless her)  is a pretty good excuse but i'm still gutted we can't go together and that i myself haven't an excuse.  the train fare makes me feel a little sick when thinking of it.
 oh there i go thinking about it again now i'm getting unpleasant feeling in my chest. the guilt of not going would destroy i think though!  talking of cardiff it's all hell breaking loose there since i've gone:  witness this paragraph stolen from an email to my love/ my dolt of a bush- supporting tw*
t of a boyfriend ( depending on the day)  " summers is pulling ricky and also being a bitch ( no- one knows why)
 to wife. who's very upset and confused by the whole thing. N has nearly fallen out with summers too cos she's being really weird about her birthday party and has invited the whole band except the obvious j but is refusing to invite our best friends from uni,  jo anna steph etc.  which has understandably upset N- cos ths is when we were supposed to be having a reunion with them this weekend anyway.
 weird and pretty bothersome.  plus my turd of an ex seems to have taken a shine to N again and spending every minute possible with her which is making me a little sick cos you just do not DO THAT.  plus tim r is clinically depressed,  still in love with N and wants her back.  but she's spending a lot of time with a certain A. K's being her normal self and stirring everything up plus has taken to telling me over and over again that from seeing me and you together its clear to her that i'm shit at relationships.
 ta for that.  talking of which she's been acting very weird with me about her coming to see you in november.  so all in all i'm kinda glad to be outta that.  pottering/ receptioning will do for a while i think.
