  "Just When I Thought I Was Over You"...Don't you just hate that song?! I take so long to get myself up to par with the ME I should be, and what happens?
The make-up peels right off and I learn that it's all been a facade all along. How can one stop pretending then if one does not know they're not real in the first place? Bittersweet--that is the only taste there is in my life lately. It was anxiety: fear and excitement all at once. I was looking forward to seeing him again, and this time I am hooking up with his mom and brother while meeting the cousins. Do I stay quiet and smile often? Do I blabber nonstop and try to appear busy and full of life?
I couldn't even sleep because I kept replaying the scenario in my mind! !..that, and the fact that someone was practicing with the drums next door (the negative side of having to sleep during the day and working graveyard). In short, I slept 2 hours. I tried to take my mind off it by watching some good old tv. Nothing does it like Lifestyle channel and the fashion and interior design shows.
=) After a long time of getting ready, I had to face reality. Turns out, it was so fun. We watched tv and laughed and talked and ate and walked around at the mall and ate again and laughed some more. I can't remember not being so shy around his brother and mom that I'd be the one asking the questions this time. To top it off, there was no awkward moment that seemed to plague my EVERY moment with him for so long before.
Does that mean it is really over and we are finally JUST friends? I hope so. Wait, no I don't. Quoting Rachel from Friends , "between me and you, it's never off the table. " Even if our story will never come true, he will always be the prince charming in my fairy tale. (sigh) ------------------------------- I can't wait to have babies! There is no greater reward in my life right now than to go to the orphanage and come home tired knowing I gave some loving.
Actually, that's wrong; I was the one who got all the love. These kids are miracles. Maybe one day I can have a miracle of my own... -------------------------------- I'm so worried about my dog. He has internal bleeding and the house was so gory when I came home and left the house today. That dog is what brought my dad...home.
He's my parents' BABY! The house would never be a home without that dog. Hero is the one family member I see most too. So please pray for him to get better.
=) 
