  Hallo blog.. so on Wed (4 days ago) I got my tongue pierced. Seems like there are two kinds of people in this world.. those who say "yeah, that's cool, can I see? " etc, and those who say "why? didn't it hurt? but you can't eat/speak/spit/swallow" etc. I think I you fall into the latter then don't worry about trying to understand. I know people who have or want to get labrets (lip/cheek) piercings and, while I don't know if I'd get one (mainly because of work considerations) I think it would be cool.
So anyway, to record the excellent adventure of getting a centre tongue piercing (you can also get off centre, horizontal, surface, etc) I will try to keep a record of how its going. First, a flash back to Wednessday... Wed 9th June - 12:25 Walk into Pierced Up (Bristol,UK) - have calmed my nerves at this stage - they don't take [credit] cards to I walk down the hill to the hospital (! ) for a cash machine. Walk back up hill, and its hot, so by the time I get there I'm sweating... I figure this won't look so good so pause for a few minutes to restore composure and go back in. The place is really cool, very modern and not dingy like some other tatoo places. Fill in the compulsory form (over 21, etc) and go with (? forgot name.. oops ? ) into the room. Piercing room is very clean which instills confidence.
Piercer sits me down and goes through the procedure - also gives me mouthwash. This was all cool because I'd researched the whole thing on www.bmezine.com and all the good stories start like this! Next step was to examine tongue with a torch to check the veins.. all good. Then he marks my tongue with a purple pen and asks me if its ok, then marks the bottom of the tongue.
So far so good. Then, with some sort of absorbant paper, he holds my tongue in place (no clamps) - I'm thinking at this stage he is just probing when, all of a sudden, the needle goes through. It wasn't that I didn't know he was going to do it, he was just very efficient with the time. (He probably did say he was going to do it, but I was a little excited by events at this stage! ) Then I felt a little push as the bar went through, but no additional pain; the needle doesn't hurt a bit.. is just an odd sensation - not pleasant, but nothing to get freaked about. He must of fastened the ball on the top, but I didn't feel anything. So, after just a few seconds, it was all done - I looked in a mirror and thought, wowowow! Did another rinse of mouthwash (Tech 2000 I think) and then stood there while he went through the after-care advice. (Don't smoke, no sort of oral contact with anyone, including french kissing, rinse lots with an alcohol-free wash, etc.).
While this was going on I felt a little sick, it was really hot that day and the combination of heat and the whole experience started spinning my head a bit. He asked if I was ok, and I think I said yes, but he obviously figured I was loosing it a bit so sat me down - cool.. that saved the day.
Then finished off the after-care, went out and paid, and walked back to the car. By now I'm on top of the world and sit looking at it in the mirror for a couple of minutes - cool! The drive back is intense.. don't feel queesy at all, but do feel changed; not better than other people, or anything like that, but just privately improved like I'd just done a bungee jump (but the buzz was going to last for a long time! ) Get back to work.. hadn't told anyone I was getting it done, but they figure somethings up when I can't speak properly - I have a lisp - woh! So then there's the customary showing of the tongue, and much fascination. Only person who was into it was a girl who has her tongue done.. I'd asked her lots of questions first.. so it was cool to have one person around who thought it was cool.
Didn't try to eat at work, just mouth wash every half hour or so, and lots of water. Got home about 6pm - showed my wife - she thought it was cool (phew!). Then figured I'd have some food. I'd bought ice cream and rice pudding, and the pudding looked yummy. Er... no good, spent half an hour and only managed two teaspoons - haha.. I'd read about how hard eating could be but hadn't really expected to miss normal food so quickly.
So then moved onto ice cream - this was a bit better, but moving my mouth was still painful, so I left it. Tongue didn't seem too swollen, so I went to bed and slept like a happy, pierced log :-) Thursday, 10th June Haha.. there are tooth marks on my tongue - I've never had that before. I really can't speak much and don't fancy idea of eating, but I take my mouthwash and more rice pudding to work. I managed to eat 1/3 tin rice pudding by mixing it with honey - this tastes good but still takes about 30-40 minutes.
Then spend the day not talking (everyone says how quiet it is now! ) and eating the rest of the tin. Surface of tongue is slightly yellow - no discharge or anything untoward, so am not too worried. Get home and have a couple of slim-fast drinks. Oh, and I've lost about 4lbs...! Friday, 11th June By early afternoon the surface of my tongue is really yellow.. am getting a bit nervous so ask the girl with her tongue pierced to have a look.
She just laughed and said that it is just all the manky stuff collecting because I can't move my tongue to clean it properly.. feel quite relieved. Just slim fasts today. Saturday, 12th June Not much talking, more slim fasts. Go to a BBQ on the evening... ohohoho the smell of meat is too much.. so spend half an hour slowly munching a tiny piece of gammon... delectable!
Meet another person whose first reaction is 'cool', and lots more horrified people. Sunday, 13th June - today So this morning, after brushing my teeth, I brushed my tongue. The yellow layer has gone... I noticed, as I was brushing, that I was totally drooling and burst into laughter.. you had to be there I suppose. Have ran out of mouth wash now, so have moved onto sea-salt in warm water. It feels better, and I remember that this was the magic wash that saved me when my wisdom teeth went mental on me.
So now, on my fifth day of having a centre tongue piercing, am I still pleased. You bet your sweet ass I am. This is the best thing I've done this year. As long as I keep up the oral hygiene and don't eat too many solids for a while it will all be cool. Probably got another 10 days at least before I go back to get a smaller bar put in, and maybe a funky ball or something on the top.. will have to wait and see. So, if you're thinking of doing it, and don't mind not speaking and eating much for a couple of weeks, then it is totally worth doing. Am now pondering what comes next.. this stuff is addictive! Bye for now :) 
