  Hmmmm... it's been a really long day, despite the fact that I didn't really do much. I killed Slackware Linux on my computer, and installed Debian Linux, since I am getting the (sid) update CD's in the mail soon.
Maybe I think that somebody will actually care, or maybe I am just talking about anything except what I really want to say. I talked to Kris on the phone for a total of several hours yesterday, and her and her family are all in a giant fight thingy and it just overall sucked. By the way, she kinda broke up with Marc. She told me she was going to, then he never called because they were also in a fight so she just considers it over.
But anyways, yesterday, I told her that I really mean to be there for her, and she can come to me for anything. So we were just talking about stuff, and she asked if she could tell me something without me being mad or thinking she was stupid, and I said yea, of course, and then she didn't want to tell me until right before we got off. Later on, I had to go so my mom could use the phone, and I just reiterated that if she ever needed anything, I was there for her, and to always remember that no matter how bad things got, I was always thinking about her and I would always care. Then, just before we hung up, she said, "I love you, Bill. " And obviously I said it back, and then we left.
But I have a very hard time with the word love, and actually rarely use it. I have told only three girls that I loved them, including Kris, and also have never told anyone else that I loved anyone except those three, despite quite a few stupid meaningless crushes. However, I noticed telling her I loved her yesterday, I said it easier and felt more confident about it than I ever have before.
I really don't I could have meant it any more than I did. Anyways, today we talked a bit about stuff, and then I told her how I was thinking about us a lot, and how I was sorry I didn't wait for her like I said I would, and asked what she thought would happen with us in the future. She said she only knew what she thought should happen, and didn't know when it would. Later, she told me all I had to do was "say the words" (which of course I am horrible at), and said she didn't want to wait, but would if I needed her to.
I called her back later, and told her I loved her and that since I couldn't think of a more creative way of saying it, I would just come out and do it, and asked her if she would go out with me. She said yes and then we were just quiet for a while, and then she had to go because she was going to go take a nap.
Yea, so I guess that's the whole story, at least the main parts of it, I obviously left out tons of crap, but this is the main framework lol. I might post other things as they come up or as I remember them or whatever. Maybe it's time I told my parents that me and Kris are going out. Or that me and Sarah broke up. Or that me and Kris went out the first time. Wow, they miss a lot lol.
"I now have nothing but your heartbeat in my head" ~Alkaline Trio 
