  I had to call Mistress of Hounds . Seeking reassurance that I was doing the best I can and giving these mutts all the love they deserve .
The 3 'youngsters ' were discards , emotionially and likely physically abused. Certain they live with the dog -version of P.T.S.D. That's my armchair dog psychology for tonight . Limitations placed on me I cannot accept...other people projecting their fears and insecurities onto me . The worn out , unproven thinking that one must "hit bottom" before things turn around and get better .
Everyone needs to be hospitalized every now and then. If they have mental health concerns . Every day , I need a challenge . Physical and/or mental. My lifeforce demands that I learn something and always work toward the positive. Five years ago I never would have dreamt that I would be using p.c.s as much as I do . Certainly not working as an instructor .Most of what I have learned has been self-taught . Through trial and error. As it was for Thomas Paine , Abe Lincoln , Thomas Edison and Luther Burbank .
In moments of clarity , I recite W. Churchills' Battle of Britian speech . Then proceed to "seek a fresh grip on my bullet-proof mask " because I do hide behind " Paranoid Eyes " . Cauition : Do not slip into espanol around Susys' mother figure.It intimidates the carpetbaggers come lately .Like I always say - F.U. if you can't take a joke .BASTA. I am pleased with the progress I have made . That I have 'outed' myself as a heterosexual .
I can have friends for who they are and not for what they are labelled. Some are social outcasts , as I consider myself . For levity , I chant Hookers ,Junkies and Queers Oh My to the cadence of Lions ,Tigers and Bears Oh My from "The Wizard of Oz " ... My personal ' blow off ' tag - Pog m'hone .Irish for Kiss My Ass. Are you reading any of this Geraldine ? Two "Squirtys" in one household .Who could imagine? Not me. 
