  Tonight we watched Win A Date With Tad Hamilton . My dad and brother aren't home so it's just me and my mom spending some "quality time" together. I like nights like this because we talk about all kinds of interesting stuff. I was trying to find a picture of a slutty dress like the one Rachel wore to graduation Friday night so I was on the Hot Topic website because I thought I'd seen one similar to it in the store. I didn't find the dress, but the two of us had a lot of fun making fun of the people on the site. It's kind of like when we're at the mall making fun of people as they walk by. After the movie she said something that kind of made me think.
She told me that Corey was my Pete. We are just friends, but he would like for it to be more. I tell him and everyone else that I don't want us to be anything but friends, but I know I don't mean it. I can't understand why I don't tell him my feelings. I think it's because I've been telling people that it wasn't going to happen for so long that I don't want to admit to them that they were right and I was wrong. I've thought about before what would happen if he changed his mind and decided that I wasn't worth all the effort and emotion he puts into me, but I still can't bring myself to tell him how I feel.
Hopefully I'll be able to do it soon. We're supposed to go to the movies sometime soon as "friends" and hopefully I'll be able to tell him soon how I really feel. I hope I don't let him get away. I may never forgive myself if I do. What if he's my fairy tale come true? 
