  I just finished talking with my ex-girl, my daughter's mother. We exchanged what may be best described as the usual "howyadoin" kind of questions and answers. I had not talked to her in over a week... I've been feeling a bit inadequate lately, the result of too many financial obligations and not enough finances to cover my ass. There are things that need to be paid for, including (but not limited to): car, insurance, child, phone, food...the list goes on. Not that much farther, but it goes on, nonetheless. My full-time employment at Crack Mart is simply not enough to make ends meet. This is the result of falling into a hole filled with dead-end jobs and lackluster performance. The result of starting to climb the proverbial ladder, only to have the company supplying the ladder kick me back to the bottom of the hole. The result of a dreamer who decided to sleep a few minutes too long. It's difficult to call my child's mother, knowing part of my obligations are to both she and our daughter.
I realize money is not everything; I also need to be the father my daughter needs in her life. I want so desperately to be that man, not just half of that man. These times will pass, and there's no doubt that things are getting better. I'm staying positive and keeping my chin up. It's easier to see the sun that way. 
