  but don't think I'm just able to dance in the sun I'm taking my freedom and putting it in God's hands. A lot of people are ignorant to the truth, seriously ignorant. I got the greatest news since the last bit of good news. Not even 30 mins later, I get to my job and my boss is killing my good mood. I haven't gotten to that place where i can just push the negativity to the side and focus on the positives. Can't nobody bask in my joy with me right now the way I want them too. So i'm going to just praise GOD cus he can... allow his presence to premiate my body and allow the Holy Spirit to comfort me.
Do I look like a bank? I don't know any other way to say it. First my best friend asks me for $20 dollars, then my mom asks me for $100 and NOW Tigger asked me for $30. Grant it because of where I was I was unable to get into it with her on the details and when I called her back she didn't answer nor did she call me back. I simply said I DON'T mix friendship with money. However, I feel the Lord is like "go a head and give it to her no matter what it is. I supply all your needs, you don't have to worry about a thang. " That's what he is saying. I asked her about it and now its like she got amnesia or something she don't know or recall it. She say she was sleep when she called me. So I tried to call her back and you know see what was up, humm. She gave me the usual umm i'mma call you back. The next time that happens i'mma be like NAW, how about you NOT call me back and just delete my number out your phone. This so called friendship is a waste of my time, energy and its messing with the anointing of God on my life.
I can get crunk now that the truth is out there. I can be like and besides you already stepped up to the plate and told me how u felt about me so for real for reals I don't need to be around you. Bottom line, your gay and you like me, I'm not and I don't like you like that. Fall back! It's offically OFFICIAL.... I'm on my wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! First and foremost giving honor to God, from whom all blessings flow.
My pastor for being my pastoral covering, whew I go to an awesome Church!!! EMC... Evangelistic Ministries Church!!! God is doing things for me.. not because I deserve because I don't, not because I have need of it because I don't, not because I asked it for my own good cus I didn't. But because it perfects his will for my life and it's gonna benefit others. The way I see my life right now.. I'm prolly gonna end up being one of those awesome woman of God who win many souls for God and still end up in hell. I know I shouldn't feel that way but I do... I found out yesterday that they are gonna publish my book, I should be excited right?
So why am I not?? It's hard to get that joy you know... So I told Tweety the good news and this is what she had to say about it... " I never had any doubts, that is great. I am so very happy for you! " It helps when you have people who believe in you but it helps more when you believe in God and yourself. As far as our friendship goes i realize that when she isn't around, like when we haven't talked for a while, I'm good, I'm GREAT even.
But if we talk .. like if we start a convo and mid convo she just stops talking I get kinda paturb about it. I won't say nothing.. I won't say a word... like if it's been a week or so that we haven't talked I won't say nuttin. I don't say nothing about nothing really. I want our friendship to work and if it means putting aside all the lil things that bother me then I will. Don't get me wrong if I told her what was on my mind she'd listen and she'd be like "what's wrong... do I do something wrong? " She'd be concerned. Its just kinda frustrating when you care about someone a lot and you really value their friendship and you want to nurture it and help it grow but circumstances say otherwise.
We are two different people in two different area codes, two different states, in two different time zones, and our lives are going in two different directions. She's almost 5 months pregnant and I'm about to start making transitions to focus more on my ministry and my Air Force Career. Dani said something a few days back that the Holy Spirit is bringing back to my rememberance. I always catergorize her in the list with my ex(s) as if she was one also. Which is SO not... we never even talked on that level but the attraction was there... the emotional feelings was there.
Now we are good we don't talk on the phone, we barely talk to each other and we've pretty much gotten rid of the emotional attachment we had to each other. I mean i could sit her and let my whole blog be about her and how we met. We were drawn to each other I mean, I mean I was drawn to her from like the moment I saw her. We was in the chatroom and she was talking to people and her convo was annoying me... I didn't know her or nothing and I started talking about Popeye's Chicken and she jumped on my conversation and started talking to me and it's been kesmit every since!!!
I use to say dumb stuff like she had me U.S. Wide open... (It was a pun off the pun that Jamie Foxx had on the espy awards last year to Serena Williams, he did a remix to it this year. ) It was mad crazy, I've dreamed dreams... she's dreamed dreams... heard voices, seen things and we've fell out and what not but we really just wanna be friends. For me why? I don't know... For her? She says because she doesn't like losing friends... but i'm special to her and I make her laugh and for that she has love for me. I'm tired I've worked night shift like all week.. i'm out. more erratic thoughts, more senseless nonesense, and more drama from my life.. stay tune until next time. Godspeed and remember... every mountain and every hill is gonna come tumblin down. doesn't matter how u feel or negative things that people say. 
