  It's been a few days since I've posted... I didn't have much to say... I mean a lot has happened don't get me wrong. I just wasn't ready to talk about it. Among the mental strain and drain that working on my new book is causing me. I just want to stay away from people and do my thing. Beyond the underlining thoughts and voices that say this book must not be written, it won't be read, and no one will care. I'm having dreams again... two of them actually one about me chilling with Tigger and she just ups and kissed me all in my mouth. I was just like whoa afterwards. I just kind of acted like it didn't happen. Then I had a dream about Kay and one of her bestfriends was in it and she handed me a bag of things that Kay had bought for me. Said she didn't know where she was and all that jazz so i went off to go look for her and the dream ended. Somewhere in the midst of all that my bestfriend was in the dream and she was doing somethings I don't quite remember. BUT i'm still trippin off this tigger kissin me thing... whoa. That was pretty intense and if that's suppose to be a sign of what's to come.
Yeah I can see her having a more prevalent role in my book but NOT my life. Closer to you... the only person I need and will be getting Close to these days is Jesus. It seems as much as i'd like to think I could have a friend that I could be close too... I can not. It's all good though cus I realize that this is God and me time. I'm special to him and he needs his time alone with me more then anyone else. Grant it there isn't anyone just bangin on my door to spend time with me anyways but It's all good cus that is a good thing. Loonie's birthday was yesterday she's now 27... mami getting old... lol. I didn't make any real attempts to wish her a happy birthday but i did send her an e-card but i put from secret.
hopefully she won't think back to me but who knows. I really got love for her, through and through. I mean this chick had pictures of me up in her crib. We wasn't together, she was like my play moms more than anything. It's hard to believe it's 2004 and she's no longer physically present in my life. But I press (philippians 3:14) I've got too.
among and admist all the adversity and trials and tribulations I've had to deal with the BIG Guy has been right there comforting and consoleing me. Jesus... man I can't put any words on that. So i won't... I am somebody in Jesus, I'm already delivered because of Jesus and I will help others by the power of Jesus bloodshed and name. ONE MILLION SOULS ... but i'll accept touching a trillion souls. 
