  Tonight Pride weekend is over. Thank god. I didn't even participate in very many of the festivities, but simply having lots of friends and a room-mate who did was exhausting enough.
I woke the other morning to a strange pair of men's shoes in our front hall... This morning I woke up to two strange pairs of men's shoes in the front hall. Luckily this morning's shoes were of a mutual friend who had just crashed here, well not so lucky for my room-mate.
This weekend I have concluded that apparently there is a massive shortage of fruit flies in the gay community. I say this because I swear that my phone was ringing off the hook with everyone who is gay who I ever met in my life calling me to go party with them. I'm confident in that I know I can be a fun person, but I got the distinct feeling that they were looking for me to fulfill the specific role of the "token fruit fly".
Let me explain in case someone is unaware. There are fag hags in the community, these are women who associate with gay men whom they are attracted to and have the goal/dream/hope somewhere inside that they will one day sleep with their fags. A fruit fly at no point has any desire to sleep with her fags and is often disgusted at the thought of this, she is just one who hovers around the fruit.
I am obviously the latter. However seeing as there appears to be a shortage, this is simply wearing me the fuck out. I just cannot be everyone's fruit fly. There is only so much fruit I can hover around at any given point in time. And this is especially so at Pride when every gay man is looking to have his "token fruit fly" hanging off his arm.
Otherwise, I once again turned to my trusty television the other night in hopes it would aid in boring me to sleep. Flipping through the digital guide I saw a discussion type program called 'Sex, Toys and Chocolate'. Of course with a title like that I am going to turn to it immediately with curiosity completely peaked. It was just coming off of a commercial break and there were six people, who had never met before the show, paired off into man/woman couples. They were going to have a friendly competition with one another to decide who was the best at giving fake oral sex. The women had to take on bananas (of course) with whipped cream, the men had to do their thing with half a pitted papaya also with whipped cream. Holy Fuck . They were getting so crude with their respective fruits I couldn't believe it was on cable.
It was making me blush - which is saying something because I don't very easily, and I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. I'm not going to give details, I'm sure you can imagine what was occurring all on your own. That was my straight person moment of the past 48 hours. My friend who was watching it with me was traumatized by the events. Hehehehe I also found out something else that is interesting. According to an article published in a Toronto newspaper for Pride week, all gay men can essentially be fit into six categories. The article makes it seem, in my opinion, that there is no middle ground. If you are gay, you are one of these.
How ridiculous is that? I am going to make an equally ridiculous list for straight men, straight women, and lesbians noting the categories and then I will have everyone in this world completely figured out and stuffed neatly away according to their sexual preferences. I mean, the only thing that dictates who you are is in those preferences, right? (Bullshit)It will come later... 
