  So much time spent on things that don't matter, so much time spent on others. We don't take the time to care anymore. We don't take the time to love anymore. I lost you a long time ago but it took me this long to see it. All these years just a faded memory. Why are we still here?
Is it because once in a while we get that old feeling back? For the kids? Maybe because it has become comfortable... My heart is still in your hands but your mind has drifted. You don't look at me the same. You are too busy to notice. Maybe my health has turned you away from me.
Maybe the years have made us change so that we can't find common ground anymore. I'm tired of being that painting on the wall you notice from time to time. I'm tired of being in the same room with you but still alone. I'm tired of feeling nothing. I miss the passion. I miss the friendship.
I miss the butterflys I use to get when you kissed me. I miss the way you use to look at me. You pour your heart out to others but have nothing to say to me. You stay up all hours of the night with your buddies but it's lights out at nine with me. You are closer to people you have never met then you are to me. You don't even know who I am anymore.
I bet I could ask questions about your online buddies and you would know all the answers. Do you even know of my dreams? Do you know my fears? Do you know anything about me anymore? Do you even care? So many times we said forever but now that seems so far away.
I'm not sure I see forever anymore. I can't live my life like this. I can't beg you to love me. I can't beg for you attention. I want you to love me. I want you to want me.
I want you to notice me but not because I asked you to. So where do I go from here? What is best for the kids? What is best for me? What is best for you? Maybe you would rather not having me around?
Maybe I add too much stress to your life? Maybe we just got lazy? Maybe we figured we would always be here for each other so we don't have to work at it? Maybe we have taken each other for granted? Maybe we just don't care anymore? Maybe we don't think we deserve any better?
Maybe love isn't forever? 
