  I KNEW THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN. I just didn't think it would be this quick. As soon as PT saw the nice unthawed freezer, he has been on a mission to cram everything he comes to into it. I was driven to another town today where I was assured that we could buy some of those fabou frozen chinese wontons to go along with our variety of frozen chinese entrees. It took us an hour and a half to get there only to be told that the wonton line had been discontinued. SheeeeIt!!!
After that major blow, there were other things that were no longer available either. I was able to find my very special dried mangoes, so it wasn't a total loss. It was so hot that the resident grackles were stepping lightly on the asphalt saying Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! My imaginary grandchild calls them caw caw birds.
She will have to remain anonymous because her parents said so. They aren't quite as protective of her as Michael Jackson is with the wearing of the 7 veils and mardi gras masks and such, but I am not to reveal her whereabouts or details of her existence. I hope her wicked parents audit this blog daily and then feel bad for depriving me of reporting our special moments. I guess I should tell you that I did get to see her and her parents today. Had it not been for that and seizing the dried mangoes, I would have felt utterly cheated out of a good day. I have to be very careful with PT after he pays the bill and then go out to the parking lot to load everything into the pickup.
For some unknown reason, he will invariably start an argument. This time it was over a receipt that I had lost just by getting into the truck. It blew out the window! It was gone forever now and blah, blah, blah. I thought he probably needed to eat shit and die, but we rode in silence to our favorite restaurant which is halfway between the place I can't talk about and our house. Guess what PT found after we parked the truck?
The receipt that I had lost. He should've looked under his own ass first before blaming me. We went in, ordered, and cooled off. There were oldies playing on the radio and Strut by Sheena Easton came on. I looked around and everybody in the place was rocking out in their booths. I could see the waitresses back by the service counter shaking their daisy duke covered asses all around having a good old time.
I love Strut as much as the next person and I even have the 45 of it, but I'm not going to do Fantasia's bobo dance in public. It's just funny to see old farts doing the groove thang, that's all. Yes, I am old too. Let's see, factor in the e=mc and take out the speed of light and that would make me #%&! Okay, so I'm older than dinosaur shit and I horde juke box CD's and I play them when I'm all alone. There, I hope you're satisfied now that you've tortured it out of me.
I love talking to waitresses so I asked ours if she was from a certain state and she said she wasn't. I told her that I detected an accent and a phrase she used that made me think she was. She said that when people come in and they're from other countries or states that she starts talking just like them and it had been very embarrassing for her a few times. One evening, she had a whole table of Irishmen and before the night was over she was speaking in an Irish accent. They certainly do have very strict rules regarding drinking. If you are already toast when you show up, you will be asked to leave.
If you become toast while you are there and cause problems, you will be asked to leave. If you refuse, you will tossed out on your toasted ass and may never set foot in their establishment again. After I read that to PT just in case he ever needed to know, I scanned their drinkee poo list. Here it is: The Bullfighter The Mule Kick The Naked Sunburn 007 Martini Cinco De Martini VooDoo Martini Down and Dirty Martini The Slow Comfortable Screw Cucumber Martini-guaranteed to make you wanna cuke later on. I bet they have a little song like this: It makes you wanna cuke, throw your hands up and cuke, throw your head back and cuke, just a little bit louder now, little darlin you make me wanna cuke, yes you do. After that you are never invited back.
Nevah. Evah. Nada. No es welcome senor or senorita. Bye Bye Bye. Adios.
Designated Driver Drinks are: Tropi-Cow Mocha Latte Da The Toothless Grizz Box-O-Chocolates. Buffalo Breath Sasparilla Warm and Fuzzy Mocha Copyright© 2004. Minnow Paws by Catnip Clemens. All rights reserved. Disclaimer: Catnip Clemens lives to have fun at the expense of others and her family has requested that she inform the public that her views are not necessarily their views. Consider it done.
We Have No Won Tons Today 
