  A Lady Justice compound bow and arrow set with the capacity to split a redwood tree in half. A Stun Gun Mistress Taser with a jeweled holster. A Razor Knife disguised as lipstick. An Ultra Sound Dog Chaser that emits a high pitched sound heard only by dogs and men over the age of 60. A pair of night vision goggles so I can spy on the neighbors when there's nothing good on TV. I wanted to buy him some special undershirts with a bullseye printed on the front and the back and he said, "NO! " A leaf blower to use after his dawgs come into my spotless house and bring in half the yard with them.
After he lets them out, I could blow everything right back where it came from. It could also be used as a blow dryer for the really big dawg when he gets his bubble bath. Any diet book that says he can't have any more of things that end in the letters drates and ugar. No Tofutti, seaweed wraps, oolong tea, herbal tea, prissy tea biscuits, mini quiche bites, vegetables that can't be fried, anemic nonfat milk, decaf anything, and no sissy lattes. Copyright© 2004. Minnow Paws by Catnip Clemens. All rights reserved. Disclaimer: Catnip Clemens lives to have fun at the expense of others and her family has requested that she inform the public that her views are not necessarily their views. Consider it done. Rest easy, loved ones, as Catnip tells the world all of your secrets. Things My Man Refuses To Buy 
