  But I'd miss novels, alcohol, nicotine, swearing, and sex. I had a bad Sunday night and I called the ex. I was sad about something else and thought that just like when we were dating, talking to him might make me feel better. But he didn't pick up the phone and so I got even sadder. I am ok, though. I am at the stage where I'm beginning to see some benefits to us no longer dating.
I can also now see myself without him and I can see myself with someone other than him. Just as I can see him with sommone other than me--albeit probably not without laughing. Cuz I just know she's gonna either be beastly or brain-dead, with no fine balance. I guess you could say, I've come to an acceptance. And yet I still feel sad. I feel sad because of the good times.
I miss them. The thing about loss is that it's always the things you take for granted that you wind up missing the most. I popped myself some popcorn just now and I kept thinking about how we'd wait for them to go to bed, then we'd smoke, eat popcorn, jokingly arugue about whose turn it was to go get the popcorn out of the microwave. I put it in. Yeah but I put it in and then took it out last time. You're more stoned than I am.
They're not gonna wake up. But then I have to go grab the bowls, too. No you don't, just open the bag and we can eat it out of the bag. Then my hands get greasy. I mean open the bag so that it's like a sheet. Then the popcorn will spill everywhere.
No it won't. If you go get it, I'll do it, and I promise it won't spill, okay? Fine. We used to put the popcorn in for 2 minutes and 45 seconds. Now I pop it for 2 minutes..popcorn for the single woman. He used to eat the kernels.
I'd laugh at him and offer him my popcorn instead. But he always refused, saying, "No, I just like the kernels. They're good. " Maybe that's why I notice the little things (when I'm not drunk, that is). Like candy, small things are intended to be savoured. Shitty analogy of the week, number 17. 
