  Okay, FINE! I'm a jerk, sweet. I feel totally happy, because ___ is a hypocrite who is totally blind to the world around them. And because with all the fucking annoyances caused, I have the right to blow up. You don't fucking nagg yer mom while she's fuckin driving, so why the FUCK would you nagg me, while I schlep you everywhere, and yeah. Kaya, I love you, and I'm sorry for what I said last entry, I know it enraged you, and, I guess it seems wrong.
I can't explain my logic with that, and I can't use more friendly diction, but I could tell you weren't happy with me, and I think it was that, and the fact that I'm an ass. No point in denying it, as its been verified my numerous sources....namely my best friends and girlfriend. So thank you, and I'll keep you in mind as I wonder what the world would be like if I wasn't in it at all for a week. I dunno. I'm just sad. I have a problem right now.
I wanna be alone.... but I don't. I want to see Kaya. She's leaving on monday...for a long long time. I hope she doesn't come back and realize how bad I've been, and that she wants to leave me...that could easily shatter me. I duuno, I have been a jerk, with no worthwhile excuse, but I need some time off. I'm gonna spend some time alone after Kaya leaves, and see how that goes.
This was probably the most incoherent string of sentences, but I am not thinking about what I wrote earlier. I'm just typing what comes out of my head. I am really fucking annoyed, thats all. I love you Kaya, with all that I have. I hope you can forgive and understand, even though I have no reason. I just felt like banging my head on something when you left....and I did.
It got a lot out. Maybe I should do it more often....... I'm sad. All my love ~Elan p.s. vent vent vent. 
