  Sam: I'm not great, I'm human, humans are lame. To put it in perfectionate syllogistic logic: Humans are lame. I am a human. Ergo (therefore (I know I'm a hypocrite and am being extremely patronising)) I am lame. On other news... P.E. teachers are sooooooooo horrible and patronising. "Well done! " "Good hit! " (the last two statements were to be read in an extremely patronising and sarcastic voice, as are the following.
) "Are you listening? " "Well played! " "That was great! " Why are people so sad? Sam says Nigel is horrible. I like Sam. Therefore I say Nigel is horrible. How bl**dy sad can you get. Shoot me. You could turn this around you know, you could tell me it was all a lie and that you still love me really and you never stopped, you could phone me, text me, say sorry like you really mean it, tell me why, but no. You don't care. Why should you? I'm only me. 
