  the 4th of July sucks, because I still have to work tomorrow. Last night I had the most amazing dream. It was so hot. I could have fantasies about that dream for a few months. I had been listening to Controller. Controller last night as the previous post implies it was on repeat while I was cleaning my room, and figuring out how much I owed for bills and just all the other stupid adult shit I have to do that I loathe.
So I'm folding my laundry and dancing around in my room like a stupid girl just doing my thing and I look over and see it's already sometime in the early morning. So I stripped down and crawled into bed. Only I couldn't get comfortable. I kept placing the pillows behind me like they were another body and finally I felt settled in. I must have taken the CD off of repeat because it wasn't on when I woke up this morning. I can't recall. I fell asleep pretty soon after getting comfortable. The next thing I know is music is playing (similar to what I was listening to before falling asleep or perhaps it was the CD still playing? ) and I'm in some dark place, some hot, dark building dancing. Dancing harder than I've danced in a long time. Dancing differently than I usually dance, because I'm not dancing by myself. I'm not dancing in a big crowd I'm just dancing and someone else is there but I can't see them I can only feel them. I'm hot and sweaty and there are tiny bits of light reflecting on skin, but I can't really see who it is.
BUT.. I know who it is. (I just can't tell YOU. ) I couldn't seem to see their face in this dream. It was a first person dream, like I'm really there not just watching. I don't have many of these, usually my dreams are third person. Anyhow it was just intense. I woke up hot and sweaty and had to get a glass of water around 6am.
Then I crawled back in bed and realized I would be plagued by this dream all day, and that it was going to suck because I had to be at work and not at home thinking about that... I can't wait for my hair to grow out, I feel so ugly with it the way it is. I just want everything to be better right now. Is that too much to ask, really? I don't want to work two jobs anymore. I don't want to wait for things to come to me. Although... I can think of a few things that have recently COME TO ME that have been nothing short of amazing. But that is besides the point! I mostly just want to not have to work 2 jobs anymore, well at least not my stupid lame basement dwelling job anymore. Oh yeah, and I don't want to owe anyone or any place or any company money anymore, ever! 
