  copyright 2003 John JJ Martin I’m not looking to play the game Not really at least I want to do things slow and be postmodern I think I should try to hurry things up I might come in too late *Stand back from behind the yellow line till the train comes to a complete stop in the station* I’m been trying to be good about the whole deal but I cant seem to get it right. If it’s not the age, it’s their body, if it’s not that, it’s money, not that, its voice, forget voice, it’s me. When it’s me, it’s because I talk, or think, or expect too much. *Please stand back from behind the yellow line till the train comes to a complete stop in the station* I don’t see the problem, I really don’t. I could have love (whatever that is), money, friendship, family, but I can’t move my feet. Cemented in place by my expectations. What I want, what I need, why I want it, is always blurred by what I want all of it to be. *The train is traveling at high speeds and will not be able to slow down quickly, so please stand back from behind the yellow line till the train has come to a complete stop in the station* I’m too young to have what I want. It’s not a hard thing to grasp, I just don’t know how to deal with all of the things that come along with being with you.
I’m going to need time to test my waters, before I step into yours. Is that sad? *If the train hits you, we will not be responsible for any injury that may occur. Stand back from behind the yellow line till the train comes to a complete stop in the station* Without any know how boyfriends work, or how they operate, I need my space to see what moves and steps I have to take.
How do i find out? Well, that’s the catch 22. I have no idea. If I don’t try to have a boyfriend, then I wont know how one might operate. *For god’s sake, please stand back from behind the yellow line till the train comes to a complete stop in the station* I’m going have to tell you that I’m not feeling it.
I don’t feel it because we went too far. I’ve done the sex-first thing, then the date thing, and it’s dead in a month. I know it works if you flip it, remix it, so that’s how I’m doing it from now on. I’ll take the risk after I go through that process, but not before. I want my time, space, and chance to do it my way. No sooner. Never say never says I, but I’ll buy.
I want to try guys around my age. I’ve been with guys older. I want to travel; I can’t do that with payments coming out (as much as I’d love to). If someone younger came along, I’d be on you like white on rice. If it’s not an age thing, it’s a body thing, or a money thing, or a sex thing, or a something. *The doors are now closing, please stand clear, the doors are now closing* 
