  so, first the business, if you want to read the last incarnation of me, i suggest you go visit urlLink the wurm .
this move isn't so much a reinvention as it is a change of space, and a way for me to explore a different space of expression. i've been thinking about privilege recently, how i struggle with it in an academic setting, and how to negociate my position of (relative) privilege with my (often changing) ideological beliefs.
i mean, realistically, my position as a graduate student is one of privilege (except, perhaps, financially): my job is to read and research, mostly on my own time; there is a cultural cache associated with studying literature and theory that does not extend to most other areas of work; graduate studies adds its own intellectual prestige; i do what i love; i have the time and relative luxury of being able to critique what i see as problems in the world, the institution. it's these last two items that give me the most problems. i mean, if we must have an elite in this world, i would rather be party to celebrating an intellectual elite than i would the current system where capital buys prestige regardless of character.
so i have the luxury of doing what i love. except, i don't think i'm happy. in fact, i'm quite sure i don't know what happy really is. i was thinking this at three this morning, when i couldn't sleep. i feel so guilty for every iota of jouissance i take from my studies that my happiness is quashed. i want, then, to learn to be happy, to accept this privilege without problematizing it too much.
that, however, leads to a kind of uncritical mode of being with which i'm not ethically comfortable, but it seems somehow hypocritical to be too critical of the system that affords me my position, which i do not want to give up. 
