  Devastating morning. Feels like my tea cup heart has been inadvertantly dropped while being juggled by a midget or something. Just came back from emptying my e-mail account and I received that perfunctory reply from Swissy-Missy with the sentence, "random trips to Peoria to visit my sister and my boyfriend" sliced in the middle of a paragraph. Nothing is worse in a relationship than being the 'other' guy. God I hate this feeling. * Remember that scene from the first Rocky where his ring manager tells Rock-o to quit sleeping with Adrianne b/c "Women weaken legs!
" Perhaps that's true with writers, "Women weaken prose! " Having a hard time reaching that bloggin' " end-zone" inside me this morning. And of course, I know inside that all I have to do is suck it up, throw a few punches and get back inside that ring and finish the bout. * Woke up this morning thinking about zookeepers adage which purportedly states that "cage any given homogenus species of the opposing sex for long enough and they'll eventually mate,"--Is this what college is? Is this what reality is? We're all lving in this atmospherical cage and, given close proximity, we'll eventually get it on?
* "'Cause you know there's no gender in the next world. " Uncle Mike informs me last night at dinner. "What do you mean? " I look at him. "What's the purpose of gender. " He inquires.
"Procreation. " I say. He nods. "People have a hard time envisioning this. That the soul is without a sexual preference. " I have a hard time envisioning this.
That our genitals and our our innate animalistic desire to feel oneness and to create a bridge of union between genders doesn't follow us to the next world. * Night I 'randomly' bumped into Swissy-Missy outside of One World I asked Mike why, if she wasn't interested in me or whatever, did she come on to me like she was in the first place. "It was hormonal" He said, dismissing the matter. "Oh," I say, looking at my elonagted shadow beneath a streetlamp. * If you have a life in the arts you inevitably run around with lots of people who are gay. Many of my best friends are gay and my best friend, David, and I have this long running joke that when my first wife leaves me for my sister or whatever, we're all gonna get together and have a guys night out and cry and watch a marathon viewing of LORD OF THE RINGS uncut for twelve hours straight and right at the apex of the film; right at the moment when Frodo finally free's himself of his fettered fire-hydrant-sized ego and chucks his ring into the lava of Mt.
Doom I'll finally have the balls to remove my own wedding oval and chuck it into the mechanical gnaw of the garbage disposal and all my gay friends would formally applaud and address me as 'honey' and toast Zima and tell me that I could do better and she was really a bitch and then tell me that they secretly made bets before the wedding about how long my supposed nuptial rapport would last. * AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I hate sound sounding sooooooo sullen. * There's a story I heard about Abdul-baha's parrot. Apaprently if you would poke his parrot it would only say one thing. "Be happy!
" The parrot would peep. * Ah, shit, nothin' like feeling heartbroken!!!! ! 
