  The other day I was thinking about life, or more to the point - death. I am happy with my own life, I have a good job, a nice lifestyle, family and friends who are dear to me and I am in good health.
On weekends that I am home, I enjoy the simple pleasure of being able to sit and read the newspapers. I maybe over do it a little, with 5 different newspapers on Saturday and 3 on Sundays, none the less I do enjoy something from each of them a great deal and as a result I have some trouble about how to cut down on this interest as I feel it is waste of paper which = trees. Each Saturday I read the birth and deaths notices (sometimes referred to as 'hatches and dispatches') and I wonder how the death of people affects others in the world. Reading the other day how death is seen as a celebration of someone successful ability to have given something small to this world was interesting. However I also remember reading the diary of someone who committed suicide not long ago. This was a horrible process reading how someone was in a self destruct mode and from what I understood; he had little support from friends or family during his time of need. Here is a little bit about his own thoughts before he took his own life. He had been thinking about how his death would affect his own children if he took his own life.... Can I contemplate many years of torture just to save someone from their own life of doubts and insecurities ?
Which way is most fair and most unfair ? It should be noted that often people who do commit suicide do have a process they go though, such as making sure that most things are up to date, even down to the fact that the every day bills are paid for and in one case that I was involved with, he even had the newspapers cancelled and the mild delivery put on hold.
As someone who used to suffer terrible bouts of depression, I remember once when I was also suffering from a horrible low self image, being that low that I did think about exiting this world - however deep down I did not have the strength for the process. These days I do still suffer some depression, however most of this is more to do with the shorter days during winter and it is now proven that a great deal of people DO suffer this problem - often referred to as SAD, urlLink Seasonal Affective Disorder .
I am a very aware person and I know when I am suffering this problem. One treatment that works for me (may not work for everyone) is that go to the solarium. Odd as it sounds - it helps me. I am not sure if it is the fact that on a cold day, my body is warm though to the heart, or maybe the intense UV rays helps to kick start my brain into thinking it is summer again, or maybe just the simple fact that I lye down and relax for 30 minutes in peace. The important key - it helps me. 
