  well now... as i wrote yesterday, things are not going well. at all! things are going amazingly horrible right now, and they only got worse last night and this morning.
i felt like a stranger with one of my good friends last night, that made me feel really sad. i felt as though i didn't belong and i was no longer welcome. which isn't the case, i do believe i am welcome... but i can't erase my odd feelings. i didn't sleep, i coudln't. i kept having weird dreams and weird happenings.... i wish i could give you more detail, but it wouldn't be right.
also... my one glimmer of hope, my lovely birthday party. is now canceled. the limo bus filled with 16 of my friends, partying the night away is now canceled.
right.
why would i assume i could at least have a happy birthday? why would i assume such a thing? life BLOWS! 
