  The primary purpose of starting this blog was to keep track of my fitness. I now realize that I may be able to use this strangely appealing forum to get this fat woman lodged in between my brain and my skull out. Now let me be perfectly clear: I don't have an extra large head. I am 5'4" and weigh 120 lbs. Yup that's right I am perfectly normal and well proportioned. The problem is that over the last year I have found myself spending increasing amounts of time thinking about my weight.
Being trim is no longer good enough. I want to be skinny. SKINNY like the girl in the Roxy bikini ad. I want to be bounce-a-penny-of-my-ass, can't-find-enough-fat-to-cook-a-pea-with, is-she-anorexic? SKINNY! But I shouldn't dare say anything about it (looking suspiciously from side to side ensuring that no fat people overhear).
Pssst! I am unhappy with my body. DON'T SHOOT ME FOR MY FLAWS! It's like fat people think they have a right to go around putting thin people down! Some woman once told one of my skinny friends that she made her sick. What the hell is that supposed to mean?
What if it was my skinny friend who said that to the fat woman? Then what kind of fight would we have on our hands? And what if she was sick or is sick? The bottom line is body image is not dependant on your weight. Please don't get me wrong: I don't think I'm fat. I just want to be skinnier.
Please feel free to respond. I will have to shoot you if you say anything like 'you look fine' or 'you need to love yourself before you can love the outside' (throwing up violently). Anybody who knows me will tell you that in all other aspects I am a confident and self-assured independant woman. Today's Activity: rest day Today's Meals: Breakfast shake, salad with soy nuts, 4 perogies with fat free sour cream, apple, 1/2 fillet of snapper, 1/2 cup brown mushroom rice, slice of sourdough bread, salad with flax and soy nuts 
