  2004- 03- 30 5: 08 p. m.  Back home after emaths tutorial today…
 Wanted to pon so that I could go out with Nicholas…  But decided that studies was a lot more impt.  lar…  Hmm…  I know that my blog is realli very well read by lots of pple in my class but it kinda means no privacy anymore…  Pple start to make fun of wad I write n all my feelings inside my blog have now bcome an entertainment to them…
 I realli have a good mind to lock my blog up…  Perhaps I will…  Oh,  Nicholas juz called…  Erm…  My mum’
s coming home late today so I m going out for a ride with him…  Glad I could still meet him today…  Now I feel truly bad…  Yea,  I mean,  I do like him…
 But I dun love him…  I have nv come across that strong feeling towards any of my bfs’  b4…  But someone else?  Yea…  Aniwae,
 by the looks of it,  he likes me n all that…  Guess it’ s abt time to break up with him…  I feel so sorry…  Like I have been toying with his feelings…
 Playing him around…  I have alwaize been like the player…  Standing around the edge of The Game of Love… An onlooker…  n nv truly joining in bcoz I m afraid to get hurt…  Everytime before the relationship gets too far,
 I pull back n put myself into reality…  I dun wanna go too deep…  I dun wanna get hurt…  I wanna have the fun out of a relationship…  Experience the great feeling of being loved but nv realli truly loving back in return…  Love is like quicksand…
One step n u r in…  If u have a fast reflex,  u pull out fast…  n u live…  If not u get sucked down inside n will nv be able to come out…  Even when u do…
 you will be with lots of injuries…  n that takes a huge time to heal…  perhaps even nv…  Things r juz not wad they seem to be…  Things r also nv as easy as they seem to be…  Quote:
 To love at all is to be vulnerable.  ( I agree with that saying a lot…  N I dun wanna be vulnerable…  I dun wanna feel lost…  I dun wanna lose myself…
 so the onli thing I can do is to pull back quickly… Nicholas… I’ m realli sorry…
