  i am such a sad specimen. i see other people's blogs, all trendy and such, with such cool stuff in the margins to click on, and here i sit, html illiterate. it took me a half an hour just to figure out how to get the counter on my site. so sad. even sadder, i'll have to get my niece to come over here and help me add to the blog since she is a self-proclaimed html queen.
i'm getting too old to learn new things. this can't be happening. even more so, i'm afraid of screwing up my blog. i can't believe how attached i've gotten to it in just a few short months. it's like a love affair, to be honest. i don't think i can live without it anymore. i know people get tired of writers who write about writing, but that's never stopped me before, and i actually like reading pieces on writing. how else can you express how you're feeling while the words pop into your head and land on the computer screen.
people can guess how you feel, but they can never really know unless you tell them outright. then again, maybe they don't want to know; maybe they're just satisfied with the piece as it is. i am not one of those people. if i could crawl inside your brain and travel throughout, learning all your secrets and passions, i would do it. to me, writing is an extension, an appendage, like an arm. you could live without it, as i have in the past, but it will always be there in phantom form, haunting you from time to time.
occasionally, there is a pain where it once was. the pain is real, even if the writing is no longer there. tell me, if you had a chance to grow a new arm after living a few years without one, would you? of course you would. hence, my blog. i read other people's writing, and i see what they have been through, and i wonder if i could survive some of the things they have.
i've had my fair share, but they have been different hardships. and i barely made it through some of them. as they say, God gives you what you can handle. that's why your hardships are yours. sometimes i wonder if the suicidals were given the wrong hardships, due to misfiling or incorrect spelling, and that's why they didn't make it.
when they get to the gates, are they let in due to syntax error? 
