  I am a Failure Insomniac Gardner. Unable to sleep before work, I do what any normal female building mechanic college student would do at 5 in the morning: I uprooted and repotted my basil plants. I wish I had real talent - like playing video games. BECAUSE LUKE AND I DON'T SPEND ENOUGH TIME TOGETHER, we padded our slim and slick bodies with chicken wings and beverages d'alcool at Jeremiah's. We gathered a pack of Molson as a peace offering to Pablo Desayuno's house which led us to Element. Formerly TILT , formerly Star Bar, now Element, it is a club that perturbed my small-town sensibilities. Element is a sorrowful attempt at being a posh Manhattan-like club with anorexic waitresses and mirrors built into the bar table for one's snorting convenience. Smoke machines, bad techno, black walls, "L.A.S.E.R.S. " and various screens showing random, non-sequential images of trees, colored paints, shadows, and death help to achieve the ambience and make one feel that the cocaine wasn't completely wasted. Luke and I felt right at home!!! Hey, if I want to go clubbing in Manhattan, I'll go to Manhattan. This is Rochester, people. I want my cowboy hats, Rochester Red Wings jerseys (there's nothing minor about it ), and rotten brown teeth.
I complain only because it's the only thing I know how to do. I actually had a great time, and Luke and I danced. We managed to include his new dance step "Fuck the Cow" somewhere in our combination. side-side-back-front It's 7am on Saturday and I have yet to sleep. Only one thing left to do. Two Words: GARAGE SALES. 
