  I'm totally not motivated to work right now. does it ever feel like everything you do is completely futile? Ecclesiastes only *begins* to describe how I'm feeling right now about work. see, no matter how far ahead I get in my own personal work, I'll never actually finish it.
it's like I'm approaching some mathematical limit that someone else keeps moving farther from me. and you can't even reach limits as it is! it's extremely frustrating. for example, this project I've been working on for a while now: I was supposed to complete a certain amount of work, a finite task, and got way, way ahead. even with all the fun I've been having goofing off on urlLink elmadera's forums , I'm still getting tons of work done and am far ahead of my schedule.
so, I say to the boss... look, lady. I'm ahead of my schedule and there's this thing I want to do - you know, to see Kristen - and what does she do? she comes in and dumps an "urgent" project into my lap. she didn't do it just because I said I was ahead - thankfully, I work for a better person than that.
doesn't matter, though. I still have, once again, no way to go see Kris. so I ask myself, "self, why are you busting your butt to get your job done if you're not going to get the chance to finish earlier than 5 seconds before the deadline anyway? " and I don't know how to answer myself. I think I'm just going to go home early today. [Listening to: urlLink Duke Ellington & Ella Fitzgerald - Take The 'A' Train (from At The Greek 1966 [UK])] 
