  So the other night I'm going on this date with this chick right? No seriously. True story. So when I get to the urlLink coffee shop , my date is standing outside in the rain talking to this hobo who is rambling on and on. (Apparently she was earlier than I. ) Finally we go inside... and the hobo follows us in! We get our drinks and sit down and the hobo sits down next to us. He is babbling on and on about Vietnam and Iraq and Mafia movies and how he just got out of jail and all this crap. Ok, his stories were amusing but he was running a total COCK BLOCK . I hadn't had the chance to say more than like three sentences to my date when this hobo mentions something about how he needs to get over to the homeless shelter but he doesnt want to walk cuz the rain is making his arthritis flare up.
Ok. I offer to take him over there. I stand up and grab my jacket and he stands and keeps rambling but I keep motioning towards the door. I leave my date there while I take this old coot over to the place and on the whole ride over he's talking about how he's trying to stay clean and "off the crack.
" And then he goes into this long spiel about how to tell the good crack from the back crack by how it burns differently depending on whether it was made with rat poison or embalming fluid. Fascinating shit let me tell ya. Meanwhile I'm thinking "I just hope this hobo doen't try to knife me or molest me or molest me with a knife. I hope my car isn't gonna reak of hobo stink. " Finally I drop him off and he's telling me how if I ever need a favor that I can find him at such and such a place.
I'm thinking "great, if I'm ever in a bind, at least I know I can count on a homeless crack addict to back me up! " So about 15 minutes later I get back to the coffee shop and proceed to have a great time with a great chick. But that's a story for another day... 
