  The blow in my head hurt like a bullet from Bill's .45 caliber classic. Yeah, think of me as Uma Thurman in my most unglamorous cinematic shot: blood spilling out of my nose like some thick gravy for your McChicken, and wounds distributed unevenly all over my visage it cannot even pass for a constellation.
Anyway. The blow was caused by a sudden shift of perceptions about my unmeaningful misery. A misery that shouldn't be taken as a medical or psychological case but rather a simple incident of stupidity. Well who says we don't make stupid moves? We all do. But let me just speak for myself. Thanks for the hanky, Uma. So the road to recovery is just in sight. I told ya I'm fast. Yesterday I looked like shit who didn't know what a condom is for. I was totally lost I cannot remember some parts of the day. But today I woke up alright. I felt the warmth of the sun envelop my skin and the radiation that goes with it which will eventually kill humanity.
I heal my own wounds fast. I can easily pick up the broken pieces and put them together not using Elmer's but my own booger. I can play the music again and hum to the tune of Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive. " Hahaha. Talk about being a queen.
You might ask how I did it. It's easy (Uma says "Yeah right"): 1. Drink lots of water. It is medically and theoritically true that water cleanses our body and soul. It's a symbolic ritual that ends with you standing up pissing it out. Ain't it chic? 2. Eat sausages, hotdogs, longganisa, etc. Their peculiar appearance will definitely disturb you no matter how stoic you're supposed to be. The disturbance will help you get distracted with whatever it is that freezes you. 3. Watch Joey Gosiengfiao's "Temptation Island.
" You will realize that his brilliance lies not in the absurdity of his work, but in the absurdity of his audiences. You should have seen how I laughed with snots bubbling out of my nose. 4. Don't buy load. (For line subscribers, since you're richer, throw your phones) This will prevent you from doing anything even stupider. 5. Bring friends to your house and have dinner. Don't let them notice you're miserable. Act as if you're perfectly all right. That way, they can monkey around and even start talking about something kinky. These are the major ones. It's fun and free, so take advantage of it. Forget about the "defense mechanisms" part of the discussion.
It's a major wham. It can make things complicated. It can rock your lovely boat. Let's just say, you're in total shape and you don't mind any other things. I know our subconscious will go hunt us down, but .
. .
yeah.
. .
...what if my subconscious really hunts me down? Geez....It will probably be another bullet that will knock me dead. 
