  A month goes by and suddenly everything is different. Well, . . . maybe not so suddenly. I have been reading Dr. Ornish's book about reversing heart disease and had a comeuppance or two. Or three. I am forced to admit that I am the unwanted child. From infancy I have had to force myself on others to be accepted. Other people never like me they just tolerate me. The only reason I am tolerated is because I am useful in some way. It is necessary that I admit this is my problem and that I need to accept this reality and learn to live with it. I am forced to admit that there is an invisible wall surrounding my heart that will not open. It is protecting my heart from me. Nothing has changed. 
