  i'm having a lot of trouble studying since i get so out of focus. this is the only time i get to go out because i get to stay in the dorm and i don't have to worry about curfew.
i get to see my friends, watch a lot of gigs and just drink, basically. i know i shouldn't be doing these things anymore because i should be studying but i will grow more insane than i already am if i don't. i can't really study in the ue law library. for a library, it sure is very noisy. i haven't gotten rid of my status as a quasi-public figure. people still know me and talk to me and shit. they especially still ask me about my ex, which gives me mixed emotions.
i mean, come on, it's been six fucking months and they still don't have an idea that we're not together anymore?! and some of them are just plain insensitive. some irritate me by telling me that they saw my ex with the girl and that i'm probably so hurt and shit. some keep telling me that i deserve better and that i should just focus on my studies while others just poke fun at my appearance, that i'm probably so hurt and bitter i keep on taking it out on my hair.
there are others who are genuinely concerned about me and tell me that i look better and that i'm blooming and all those other things which they try to say because they think it will make me feel better. i am losing weight, whether consciously or unconsciously, and i do try to make myself better but i'm not fucking bitter. why don't they just leave me alone? i've been alone most of my life, i'm an only child. i've learned to be independent at an early age.
if they're not used to me being alone because they got so used to me being with my girlfriend all those four years in law school, it's not my frigging fault. people break up. there's no such thing as forever. forever ended in November 10, 2003. they should just pray for me that i pass the bar and move on. i mean, i've been trying to move on. maybe they should too. 
