  shuddering in my seat with real or imagined pains in my bowels or rather in the bones of my hip dull aches without pain just emptiness there, and i don't know what it is but i know that it started when i gave my pitying to him and knew that he works hard to be successful yet i feel that he is like me and not like them that he could do something well but this? if he puts his mind to it, perhaps but thus far he lacks stellar performance he studies and worries and how does his family get by? his courage is greater than mine he will take chances to gain more while i sit in mediocrity doing unimportant tasks, but having a steady wage and i admire him with pity and worry for his welfare and self-image 
