  Yes, yes. It's the Icee Hot post. Hope it lives up to the buildup I've given it, don't you? I'll start with the beginning of that day and work up to it. Last Saturday I was awakened around 4ish by Dom pulling my legs out from under the covers and putting socks and tennis shoes on my feet. He pulls me up, discards my nightshirt and pushes me out the door.
I grumble a bit but go, I'm still too asleep to form a coherent protest. Stepping out the back door he stops me at the bottom of the steps and sprays bug spray all over my naked body. This stuff is freaking cold and it wakes me completely up. And I'm mad. Not just mad, I'm MAD. You see, I'm not a morning person.
And while most people would consider this still the middle of the night, when I don't get enough sleep, I make a grizzly bear seem friendly. Waking me up in the middle of the night when I got to bed late is somewhat like disturbing a hibernating bear. Not a good thing. So I don't say anything, I just glare. He leads me to an old clothesline post in the back yard (which he has thoughtfully wrapped with plastic wrap to protect me from rust, sharp edges and creepy crawlies). Stretching my arms out he ties them to the top post and ties my feet to the bottom of the post.
Honestly, I couldn't tell you if he tied me around the middle or not. I was so mad I barely noticed anything. When he stood up I refused to look at him. Taking my chin he forced my head up and I let him have my glare with both barrels, still not saying a word. I could see the disappointment in his face and figured he would let me go. I was so wrong.
Instead he left me to stew. I didn't have my glasses on so I'm not sure what he did, wander around the yard I guess. He walked by a couple of times, not saying anything, just checking on me. At some point he asked me a question or told me to do something. I ignored him so he swatted my legs with a switch. What did he want of me?
Don't know. I was still fuming. After letting me simmer for about thirty minutes I started to get tired. I wasn't really softening, but I was too tired to stand up so rigidly. I kind of slumped a little and relaxed my posture. I had figured out I was going to be there a while so I tried to get comfortable.
He noticed and came over to check on me. My hands were falling asleep by now but I refused to tell him. However he noticed me clenching and unclenching and shaking my fingers and realized the problem. He let my arms down only to retie my hands behind my back. Then he tied my breasts. Tighter than he ever had before, any of the times we'd played.
And starting teasing them rather cruelly. In spite of myself I started getting aroused. Dom seemed pleased. At least I assume that's why he brought out a toy and started teasing my clit. He got me right on the edge of orgasm, even told me I could have one. And the damn toy sputtered and died.
ARGGGHHHH!!!! Of course, not anticipating this particular problem, he didn't have a spare and had to go inside to get one. I would have been happy to go with, but he left me at my "post". He was only gone a couple of minutes, but I started feeling sick at my stomach. I honestly don't know if it was the bug spray (I'm very sensitive to such things, but I'd been wearing it for a while and usually if I'm going to have a reaction it happens pretty much immediately), the early hour, the sudden drop of arousal or if it was some internal defense coming up (the Brat, maybe?). By the time he came back I begged to be released so I could lay down.
I would have laid in the grass but he led me inside. I didn't even make it to my side of the bed, just falling across the end. The nausea subsided after a few minutes and Dom seem determined to give me that orgasm. So we tried again with another toy and I had one. Small, not terribly satisfying, but an orgasm none the less. He sat beside me and petted me while telling me not to apologize for ruining things and that I wasn't in control of the scene.
Yeah, I figured that one out on my own. I really expected him to cut me down and send me back inside in anger when I wouldn't cooperate. But I'm glad he didn't. I needed him not to. I wasn't consciously testing him, but looking back that is what I was doing. I crawled back into bed and slept for several hours.
The rest of the day? We went to the next town (that has a mall) and went shopping after stopping for a bite to eat. We bought several things and made a stop at the Dollar Tree. I don't know if this is a southern phenomena or not, but I love these stores. They have all kinds of junk and everything is just $1. Sometimes you can find a real bargain, the rest of the time it's stuff that would cost around a dollar at WalMart and some of it is real trash.
But it's like a treasure hunt because you never know which it will be. Anyway, we picked up a bag full of goodies, including a jar of icee hot. Now, the thing about this that filled me with dread was, Erik had told me a couple of days earlier to put some on my clit before I went to work one morning so I would burn for him. I told him I would, if we had any. Fortunately for me, we didn't have any. Or if we did, I couldn't find it.
I'm pretty sure I'd told Dom about it and I wonder if Erik had mentioned it to, prompting his purchase. It didn't take a mind reader to figure out what that little blue jar was for. We spent the evening in more vanilla pursuits, surfing the net and chatting. Somewhere later in the evening Dom brought it up, trying to persuade me to willingly submit to it. He could have just tied me up and then brought it out, but either he was a little wary after the morning's incident or he just wanted me to submit. I'm not sure and I haven't asked.
We went back and forth and I reluctantly agreed, with provisions. I wasn't being a brat, I was negotiating. That's what you are supposed to do with big scenes, things you've never done before. Right? My conditions were, one-he had to promise to untie me the second I said my safe word so I could clean it off. And two-he had to promise to be extra careful not to get any inside of me.
Scented lotion burns me like the devil if we ever use it for lube so I could only imagine what this stuff would be like. Hummph. He agreed to my terms and led me to the bedroom after making his preparations. Stretching me out on the bed he handcuffed me to a spreader bar and tied my ankles to another one. I was surprisingly comfortable. I had dreaded the spreader bars but now they are one of my favorite bondage toys.
At my request he blindfolded me but didn't gag me. He started out by teasing me, stroking my body, playing with me. We had bought a couple of snakebite kits while we were out and he put them to good use, on my nipples and clit. He got me really aroused before bringing out the icee hot. Just to be clear, the plan was to use it on my clit and surrounding area. At first it was very slick and cold.
As he rubbed it in it started warming up. I started whimpering and moving around before it got really hot. Truthfully, it was uncomfortable, but not nearly as bad as I expected. At first. One thing you may not know about us is that we use scenes as healing episodes at times. Dom has punished me a couple of times to help me let go of guilt or bad feelings that interfere with our relationship.
It's better than therapy. Sometimes these things come out when it isn't our intent, it just happens with very intense scenes. Mostly I just have a very cleansing, deep crying session. Other times I cry and rail about things. I'm not really ready to get into details other than to say I have issues that depress me at times and have affected my self image and self esteem. Dom already knew from when we had played before in reversed roles and from all of his research how this can happen.
And he knows about most of my issues, so he is taking advantage of it to help me deal with things. I don't know if it's these episodes in particular or our relationship in general, but I'm starting to put a few things behind me. A couple of them have popped back up and I'm sure others will too. But it's helping. It's also doing amazing things for my self esteem. I say all that to say that Dom wanted to make this session one of those kind of sessions.
He felt like I was holding on to some stuff that I needed to let go of. The only thing I really felt that way about was that morning's scene so I mentioned it when he started questioning me. At his relentless probing I came up with a few more things I'd had regrets about. When he applied the icee hot was when he started talking and questioning me about this. It wasn't as much what he said as how he said it. What he said was important, but it was his tone that I really responded to.
I started crying a little. This apparently told him to pursue it and he kept talking to me. When I had my list of regrets or guilts out, he told me he was going to apply some more, punish me for these things. He warned me he was going to be more generous with it this time and really rub it in. (as a side note, he isn't punishing me for whatever I'm feeling bad about doing/not doing. he is punishing me for holding onto them, not forgiving myself and letting it go.
it's a subtle distinction, but an extremely important one. ) True to his word he slathered on a huge gob and rubbed it in hard. This time it really burned and I squirmed and cried in earnest. He talked to me while rubbing it in and got more at least one more time. He rubbed hard, it would have been uncomfortable even without the icee hot. The icee hot made it agony.
At some point, I let go. Accepted the pain and the absolution it offered me. And flew. I was deep into subspace and asked for more through my tears. I even asked him to put his fingers inside me. I really cried when he did, but my sobs were a mixture of pleasure and pain.
I undulated my hips, raising my pussy and abused clit for more. I was sore, super sensitive. And flying high. Dom brought out a little egg toy and buzzed my poor clit, wringing another small orgasm from me. He released me and held me for a bit, petting me and loving me. When I finally got up to use the bathroom he warned me not to wash it away with water as long as it still tingled.
For once I listened to him and merely wiped as much away with toilet paper as I could. I crashed into bed shortly after and slept late Sunday. I already told about Sunday night's spanking so I won't go into that again or the rough afternoon we had. Dom told me, after reading my post about Monday, that he didn't give me the collar to help me or push me over my hurdles. He said he did it because he felt I was ready and because he trusted me to make the commitment. Pretty humbling.
That seems like a good place to stop for now. 
