  Yesterday was actually a pretty good day. Meghan was preparing to graduate and I attacked my boxes of clothes. I had to do this so I could find something to wear. Plus, I needed to re-organize the boxes so we could eventually get to the window. We had a lot of fun goofing around. I pulled out two costumes and told my mother and grandmother that I would wear them to the ceremony that night.
They laughed. One was my renaissance costume; the other my belly dancer costume. I was in a very good mood. I found a couple of dresses that fit and was trying to decide between them. I curled Meg's hair for her and she left a little after four. The graduation was like it was the last ones I had attended for the high school, mine included: loud and obnoxious.
I don't understand why these people just can't keep there mouths shut so you can hear what's going on. It's not that difficult to act like civilized human beings. I had a near migraine and the noise would soon onset one of my panic attacks. Thankfully, I was doing my best to focus on my sister and her achievement. So, you are wondering where the guilt trips come in? Earlier in the day, I had called Michael to ask him a question.
I was not expecting him to answer his phone at 9:30 in the morning. I had planned on leaving a voicemail, but he actually answered. We spoke briefly. Later, while waiting for our table at the restaurant, Michael called me back. I was in an obviously good mood because of the evenings events, still a little shaky, but in a good mood. He told me not to call him in the morning.
I apologized. He re-iterated his point. I emphasized my apology. Then he said he got off of work at 6 (today) and he would call me then. We have plans. Now, how is this a guilt trip?
Coming out of his mouth, it is. Plus, I skipped a bit. And he was ornery as hell from working a very long day. I AM NOT excusing him or myself. After the phone call, I excused myself from dinner, knowing my panic attack that had been waiting was now coming. I don't like having them in public.
This morning my mother came in and made me feel really bad for leaving. I explained that I didn't really feel good. I will have to find a way to make it up to my sister. However, I know there really isn't any way to do that. It was a one night thing. She means so much to me.
To think that she believes that she isn't that important to me really hurts. I'd give up my crown to be Tweedle-dum, if she'd agree to be Tweedle-dee. That's how much she means to me. 
